When cars don't start

I guess that proverb that "it takes a village to raise a child" is pretty accurate.

It seems it takes almost an entire community just to help me.

I know nothing about cars, except that I really like when they actually work. So, I was a bit disappointed when I got into my car Friday afternoon after getting some groceries, and my car wouldn't start. It's not old by any means, and it hadn't been giving me any troubles lately, so I wasn't sure what the problem was. Then I realized I had no clue how to get myself out of this predicament.

I live alone, and I don't know that many people in my city. My friend Kebbers was out of town, and the other people I do actually know, I didn't feel like calling them with something that would likely inconvenience them. Plus, they are for the most part women, and they probably know as much about cars as I do. So, I stood outside my car looking for a man. Yes, I was being that stereotypical person who assumed only men walking by would be car experts. Sorry, suburban moms I overlooked. Then I sat in my car and prayed God would perform a miracle.

Finally, I had to go inside Kroger and ask for help. My miracle came in the form of good ol' Ron, one of the store employees, and one of his sidekicks who came to my rescue. Ron told me it sounded like my car battery was dead, and he came and jump-started my car and told me to take it to AutoZone, where the lovely people there could tell me exactly what the problem was. So, I stopped at my apartment to drop off my groceries and decided to leave my car running while I hustled inside and then back. I didn't want to have to track someone down in my complex to give me a jump, too.

It's nice when cars work.

At AutoZone, some guy named Kyle ran a diagnostic test and told me my battery was dead. Thanks, I had heard the same from Ron and told Kyle originally that this was likely the case. However, he also added that I needed a new alternator. Umm, what? My car is not even three years old. How could I already need a new alternator? (Again, I know nothing, but I do know that alternators are kind of important and should last longer than three years.) Kyle then threw out some numbers and technical talk at me, likely knowing it would be like he was speaking Mandarin (which I cannot speak, by the way), and told me I needed both a new battery and a new alternator.

I'm a teacher, not a CEO.

I told him I would buy the battery, and he let me know that the alternator would continue to drain the battery, so I needed to get that alternator as soon as possible. At this point, I decided to call my dad, because I was starting to get frustrated standing out in the heat while Kyle installed my overly priced battery that apparently wasn't going to last me more than a day or so. My dad told me to call our family friend who works on cars. I definitely didn't have his number and told him I wasn't calling him, so he said he would then would call me back. When he called me back, this is what he said: "Get the battery, drive your car to Ruben's, and don't turn on your air conditioning or radio the whole way, because if it's the alternator, you need as little running as possible."

Oh, good, that would be fun in the Texas summer heat.

As I drove on the highways with my windows down (well, partly—the shallow part of me couldn't roll them all the way down because of my hair. I know, it's ridiculous. Welcome to my life.), my dad called me about three or four more times, and he told me he and my mom would meet me at Ruben's after they finished golfing. They were on hole 16 on the golf course, so it shouldn't be too long.

When I got to Ruben's and let him take a look at it, he basically told me that he thought my alternator was fine and that the guys at AutoZone were just trying to rip me off. My blood started boiling. Ruben said he would run some more tests just to make sure, but he was almost certain it was just my battery that needed replacing.

My parents finally showed up in their visors and golfy attire, and after a good amount of letting my car run and assessing all he saw, Ruben confirmed that my alternator was just fine. My parents felt really bad for me and said they would pay me for the battery. (I promise I'm not spoiled—I just have the most incredible parents ever. I'm not biased—that's just fact.)

As I drove home, I started thinking about how alone I had felt in that Kroger parking lot. I felt so helpless and fragile, yet God provided for me in so many ways and ensured everything worked out. My God, who has the whole freaking world in His hands, cares enough about me to make sure that I have a car that actually works. He cares enough to surround me suddenly with His God-sends when I was feeling so abandoned and powerless. Instead, His power swept in and made everything OK.

Things aren't always going to be easy in life, and lots of curve balls are going to be thrown our way. Thankfully, we don't have to be alone in these times. Even when we are feeling completely by ourselves, God is still always with us and will send us who or what we need to get us through these times. He's eternally faithful like that. Just like my parents came straight from the golf course to bail their 27-year-old daughter out of a rough day, our heavenly Father will always be there with us through both the good and the bad.

And, unlike a car battery, His love endures forever.

It's OK to be awkward

I think all people have a little bit of awkwardness in them, but some just show it more than others.

Unfortunately, I am part of that "some."

It's safe to say that I often find myself in uncomfortable situations, so much to the point where I am now completely comfortable in those moments. Today at Target, there was a really cute fireman (at least he was wearing a firefighter shirt, so I'm assuming he's legit), and I almost found it routine that I tripped on my flip-flop when he smiled at me as I walked by him.

Yes, most of my awkward encounters happen to occur around the fellas, and I guess I blame my inexperience with them on it. Sure, I hang around guys a lot, but it's the ones I find attractive who always make me weird—well, more so than I already am. The fact that I've never dated anyone doesn't help matters any, and I'm sure if a date ever comes my way, it will be some palm-sweating fun. I think it all started at some point in middle school, which I consider the most awkward years of our lives. I think it's self-explanatory as to why.

Just an ordinary day

I didn't change much in high school, seeing as how I once darted into a science class full of seniors just to avoid an encounter with my crush when we were both walking down an empty hallway. I figured it made more sense to stand against the door and let him pass while the teacher and classroom full of upperclassmen stared at me rather than having to say "hi" to the cutie in the hallway. So reasonable.

We all have our own quirks, and I think we should be comfortable to be who we are, because we are precious in the eyes of our Creator, even if others see us as strange. Did I think the lady walking in front of me into Target was a little bit cray cray when she thought the sound of a revving motorcycle outside was "a broken door"? Yes. But God adores her.

My sister inherited my abilities to have some quite memorable moments, and I love every single one of her "so listen to what happened…" stories. She may create some of the most socially awkward situations, but the Lord delights in her, and I think she is the most precious thing He's ever put on this planet.

Even when we find things people do to be strange or unusual, it's important to remember that they were created beautifully by God, and there's no reason for us to overlook that beauty. We shouldn't make people feel like they should have to change who they are—their uniqueness should be valued and loved.

No, the cute fireman in Target didn't ask for my number after I showed him my lack of grace, but I'm OK with that. Perhaps one day some guy will appreciate how flawed and klutzy I am. If not, that's alright, too.

The One who matters most still loves me, and that's the best comfort there is.

Embrace the challenge

My legs hate me again.

This morning on my long run, the route went through a neighborhood that included quite a few hills. In fact, it's our special DRP hill course out by the lake. I haven't run too many hills since coming back from my injury. I ran with my buddy Pfiffy, and we were going a pretty decent pace, so by the time I finished, my legs were practically dead. I'm not exaggerating, because that would be silly.

Even though the hills were quite the beating on my body, I'm really glad we ran them this morning. I see a lot of hills up in the area where I live, but, like I said, I've avoided them as much as possible lately. But I know that it's extremely beneficial to incorporate hill training in workouts, and it will definitely help better prepare me for when I run races that also contain slight (or major) inclines.

Plus, I actually love running hills. There is something about the challenge and pursuing it. There is something about striving to get to the top, even when it seems like the hill goes on forever and you will never quite get there. I embrace that.

Follow the right path.

It was actually quite refreshing to run the hill course today, because it was the first time I've ever done so with the sunlight out. When I've run there in the past, it's always been before sunrise, so I constantly had trouble navigating the course. Now, it's marked with white arrows drawn on the ground telling runners which way to turn (because there are A LOT of turns in these neighborhoods), but they are almost impossible to see in the dark, and you have to slow down a little sometimes just to make sure you're going in the right direction. Needless to say, I'm not a fan of that, so it was a relief to run this morning and actually be able to see. (You would think I would have the path memorized for the most part, but, unfortunately, you would be mistaken. I occasionally have trouble with directions.) But, you have to make sure you pay attention to those arrows, even in the light, because if you don't you will end up lost. It happened to me before, and it was somewhat frustrating for my friend Shaheen and I as we tried to find our way back to the original course.

This hill course is a lot like life. If we don't train our bodies and minds the proper way, we are not going to be prepared for things that come our way. If I don't regularly open my Bible, how will I be knowledgeable enough when trying to lead others to Christ and tell them about His Word? If I don't practice what I believe and try to model Christ to others, how will I show love to them when they need it most? If I don't talk to God as much as I can and carry all my praises and hopes to Him, how can I have faith enough to believe in all He has promised?

Conditioning is so important.

Also, God is there to guide our paths, and we need to make sure we are following the right arrows drawn for us and that we are actually able to see them. Sometimes, you might even have to slow down a little to see them. After all, getting lost and trying to find your way is only going to end in frustration and anxiety.

My legs may not be thrilled with me right now, but they will thank me later.

You may not see significance in some of the things you do for Christ or understand why certain things are happening or not happening in your life right now, but you will thank Him later.

Follow the bear

Sometimes the answers we need are so simple.

Back in the late '90s, there was a movie that came out called Alaska. For some reason or another, the siblings and I decided to rent it from Blockbuster (and, yes, it was on the righteous VHS). While it was meant to be a heartwarming tale of a brother and sister bonding as they fight to find their father, whose plane has crashed somewhere in Alaska, the three of us couldn't help but make fun of it at times.

I mean, it was uber-cheesy. There was one line in particular that was in a rather dramatic moment, but it left us laughing and quoting this continuously. The sister is tired and sits down in the snowy mountain they are climbing, and her brother takes her by the shoulders, looks her in the eyes and says, "We must never give up. We must follow the bear!"

Oh, I left out such an important part of the movie: the siblings have a polar bear that they rescued from being poached guiding them the entire time. It's completely realistic.

"We must never give up. We must follow the bear."

Flash forward to yesterday, when I was reminded of this scene during church. The pastor was talking about being perseverant in Christ, and he said the words "never give up." I couldn't help but turn to my sister and say, "We must never give up. We must follow the bear!" And, even though I was making fun of a movie we once mocked, I suddenly realized just how powerful that concept actually is.

You see, these two kids are doing everything they can—chasing bears, scaling mountains, battling the cold Alaskan climate and elements—all to be with their father. The church message was speaking of doing everything we can to pursue our Father, because he wants to be with us. I started thinking about how we often find ourselves on the cold, metaphorical mountains of life. But are we always doing it because we are trying to fight for our Father, or are we chasing after something else of this world that will eventually lead to nothing? I guess the truth is that we have to make sure we are following the right bear—the one who will actually lead us to Christ and not to a tangible and temporary idol.

I know it sounds cheesy, but the young man in the movie had it right—"We must never give up. We must follow the bear." Because, if you think about it, that "bear" can actually be the cross that Jesus had to bear for us as He took on the sins of the world. That is the ultimate bear that will lead us to our Father, no matter how many mountains we have to scale or rough patches we have to face in life to get there. Unlike the dad in Alaska, our Father will truly be with us every single step of the way as we continue after Him. That "bear" is salvation in its finest.

And that is certainly one bear we should all follow.

Finding victory in defeat

I really don't like to lose.

So it's sometimes hard to face reality when I come in second place.

Recently, I had a knee injury that kept me from running for almost two months. I spent most of my time pool running, on the alter-g, mastering the elliptical, biking, and rollerblading at warp speed (at least that's what I call it just for kicks). I've only been back running for two weeks, so I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to race yesterday.

Because it was a bad idea.

It was just a 5K, but I'm definitely not back to where I need to be. "Racing shape" is not a phrase I would use to describe me right now. My time was a lot slower than I would prefer, and it was a hard pill to swallow to get second place when the winning time was closer to what I should have run, anyway. I'm fully aware that I am not going to win every race I run, but it's also frustrating to lose to a high schooler—even if she does have four state championship titles (a few track and one cross country) to her name.

Just run.

But, I think what was even worse was the attitude I had about coming in second. Toward the end of the race, when I knew there was no way I was going to catch her, I allowed this phrase to play through my mind: "If you're not first, you're last." (I haven't even seen Talladega Nights. I think the actual quote uses the word "ain't," but I don't acknowledge that word much.) As soon as I thought it, I tried to push it out of my head, because it's rather discouraging.

It wasn't until I was running my cool down that I realized how thankful I should be. I had just raced a 5K with absolutely zero pain in my knee. I am running again, and that is beautiful. No, I didn't run the race I wanted, but there were multiple lessons I can take from the entire experience to help me improve for the next one. Plus, I had just gotten to spend an entire morning with my dear parents and incredible friend Kebbers. I even got to see one of my favorite coaches from high school. I thought about how I should be praising the Lord for all with which He's blessed me rather than feeling like a failure for coming in second.

Besides, regardless of how that race turned out, I knew I wasn't a failure in God's eyes. He has blessed me with the passion and ability to run, and I need to do all I can to glorify Him with those things. I don't think He cares when I cross that finish line, as long as I cross it with everything I have for Him.

While winning sure is fun, it's definitely not everything in life. Those times where we don't perform as well as we'd hoped can turn out to be great learning experiences that help us build up to do better the next time we toe the line. Run to win, but be prepared for defeat, because losing a competition is not true defeat. Real defeat comes when we don't have the One in our lives who has the ultimate victory.

And being a winner in Christ is so much better than any victory we could ever get from any type of road race.

My mom is Superwoman

I have the best mom in the world.

And I am not biased in this. It is simply fact.

I honestly don't think my mom has a mean bone in her body. In the 27 years I've known her, I've seen her selflessly serve others on a daily basis, and never once have I heard her complain about it. I know there were so many times growing up when I was a selfish and demanding little child who didn't always say thanks for the amazing things my mom did. I didn't even always realize just how gracious her actions were.

But I do now.

My mom always puts others before her, and I will never forget one instance where she literally took all of the weight on her shoulders for me. I was in either late elementary or early middle school, and our family went on a ski vacation one winter. I hadn't gone skiing in a while, and I actually hate it. (I found out my senior year of high school that I really enjoy snowboarding, but I genuinely hate skiing.) But, the rest of the family was skiing, and I wasn't really given another option. The Merrills don't like to play around with wimpy stuff, so Skipper decided the first run of the day—my first attempt down a mountain in years—should be the most difficult one the resort had to offer. Bad idea, Pops.

She always finds joy in rain.

He, my brother, and my sister all zoomed down the slopes and were out of my view in no time. My poor mother, who is actually just as good of a skier as my dad, waited for me as I fell almost every eight seconds or so. Did I mention I hate skiing? I was getting beyond frustrated, and my dear, sweet mom just kept on encouraging me. Honestly, if I were her, I would have wanted to yell at me and then ski down the mountain while I wallowed in my own self pity. But, she's a much better person than I am.

After too many wipeouts, I ripped off my skis and said I was finished. I started walking down the mountain, quite clumsily, however, because the skis were awkwardly bigger than I was, and they were far too heavy. I wanted to sit down and cry like a toddler. I think I came pretty close. Rather than get angry with me for being such a child, my mom took the skis from me and skied down the rest of the mountain carrying my skis for me. In that moment, I realized I was the daughter of Superwoman.

You know what's even more amazing about this? She never held this over my head. Not once did she bring it up later so that she could get some sort of accolade or make me feel any guilt. Instead, she just did it, and that was that. (Trust me, I heard about it enough from the rest of the family, though.)

To me, my mom is a living example of what Jesus wants us to be. She is the epitome of what it means to be humble, she never speaks badly of others, and she constantly shows love to everyone around her. You cannot meet this woman and not have a smile come across your face. Seriously, it's not possible. Life hasn't always been easy for her, but she shows more strength and perseverance than anyone I've ever known, and I can't express how proud I am of what she has achieved and what she continues to accomplish and strive to accomplish. She helped inspire me to pursue my master's degree, because she got hers while working full-time and having a family. Oh, and she did this all right around the age of 50. She is amazing.

Even though I am 27, I love the fact that my mom still calls me every single day, even when it really feels like there is no purpose to her call. She always ends her calls with: "Love you, bye." Never fails. The word "love" is always there, because that's the biggest part of her.

My mom loves as Christ taught us to love, and I couldn't ask for a better person to call mom—or Superwoman.

Catching bugs

I now have the power to catch any bug that crawls.

I was recently at the grocery store—where a lot of pivotal, life-changing moments seem to happen to me—when my klutziness got the best of me. I was reaching for something on the top shelf and somehow managed to knock down a jar of maraschino cherries. Those glass jars are not very durable when falling from lofty spots, so it shattered, and that sticky red juice and a bunch of cherries littered all over aisle 7 floor before I could even blink twice.

Oops.

I was frantically trying to find something to clean it up, and I definitely had nothing to be able to tackle such a mess. I had already had a pretty rough day, and this was just the cherry (or cherries, rather) on top. It really just wasn't a good moment in my life, and I guess it showed.

Small yet so powerful

A little boy was with his mom on this aisle and walked up to me as I was trying to pick up all of the syrup-coated cherries from the ground. He handed me what I thought looked like a cheap toy and said, "Here, I think you need this. It made me happy when I got it, and it might even help you pick those up."

What he gave me, his mom told me, was a bug catcher that he had gotten in his kids' meal at Sonic. She said he thought it was the coolest thing, and we both agreed that it was sweet of him to offer it to me. I tried to give it back to him so he could keep it and enjoy it, but he wouldn't let me.

It amazes me how the minds of little kids work. They are so innocent, and they think and act directly from the heart. They don't have to overanalyze things, and they often don't even think twice before they act. It brought a smile to my heart to have this little boy give me a toy that he thought was so amazing—even if it is a device used to capture gross creatures.

What would the world be like if we were all so selfless? I started thinking about it, and I can't say that I am always so willing to give up items that I hold dear. Heck, sometimes I am even hesitant to give the important intangibles (like the always needed time) to others. But Jesus didn't just give up something small for us—he gave up his entire life. Whether my new friend in the grocery store knew it or not, he was being like Jesus to a stranger on aisle 7 that day.

That bug catcher really did work that day, because I actually caught a bug: the love bug. (Cheesy? Of course.) It's so important to spread love to others, and this incident was just one more reminder of that. It didn't matter anymore that I had exhibited my lack of grace for an entire grocery store of people to see; what mattered was that someone showed me kindness in a flawed moment, and I felt the warmth of love envelope me.

We can learn a lot from children, especially when it comes to loving with no boundaries and giving freely.

Oh, and catching bugs.