Prelude to a Muddy Mess

Wow, there are some days when I really need nap time.

Yes, today would definitely be one of those days. At least it's Friday, right?

I stayed up somewhat late last night watching the NCAA Tournament. Of course, the night ended in a rather disappointing fashion as both Duke and Memphis lost. I didn't have either of them winning the championship, but it still screwed up my bracket quite a bit. I don't have any money on this, but it's more of a pride thing. Brackets can be sacred.

It's also the first week back to work after having an entire week off for Spring Break. And it's March. Just a little more than two months...

This weekend is going to be out-of-the-ordinary and probably pretty challenging. I am participating in the Marine Mud Run in Fort Worth. I've been trying to do more push-ups and things to work on my upper-body strength, but we shall see how this goes. To make things more difficult, I think it's supposed to be cold on Sunday morning. I'm not sure how I feel about drenching myself in cold mud, but I'm certain that it won't be the most pleasant thing in the world.

So why I am doing this? Good question.

Life has been rather confusing lately, and I wish I could find some complacency. I know it's not always good to be complacent, but I guess I just don't want to be going at a million miles an hour every second of my life. It would also be nice to know if I really am where I'm supposed to be and if this is where I am supposed to stay.

Sometimes I just feel like I over-commit myself, and then I get too far into things to be able to get out easily. This becomes a big problem when I volunteer to do so many things, because then you have people relying on you. If you opt out, you aren't just affecting yourself. You could be screwing up a lot of things for a lot of people.

I was remembering back to elementary school when my biggest concerns were how I would do in my weekend soccer game or whether or not my mom would let my best friend sleep over on Friday night. When did things get so complicated?

Oh, yeah. When I became an adult.

I'm not so sure it's all it's cracked up to be.

Looking back, this is a rather negative outlook I'm portraying, so I think I will cash in for the moment.

At least it's Friday, right?

I'm that kid who killed the curve...

I never thought I would say this, but I really miss being in school.

Yes, I am at school every day, but it's different when you are the one teaching. I am aware of how nerdy it sounds, but I miss having papers to write and assignments to read. I want to go back to being a student.

I've been thinking a lot about grad school lately, and I have to admit that I regret not going for my Master's straight out of college. I just had this ideal picture of myself being some kick-butt sports reporter, but I found out that wasn't exactly the dream life I had painted in my head. I'm glad I did it, because I always would have wondered what it would have been like, but now there is a part of me craving the graduate life.

I am definitely considering it now, but the idea of accruing more debt than I already have is a haunting black cloud hovering over my head. I've done the math, and I will be making monthly payments for the next (insert ridiculously high number) years. I'm not sure how badly I would like to add to that.

There are just so many things I want to do in life: get my novel published, run the Boston Marathon, get my Master's...the list goes on. I think another reason I didn't get this degree immediately was because so many people kept telling me I should. As usual, I had to be stubborn. You would think I would have learned by now that that normally doesn't get me too far.

My mom is currently trying to get into the doctoral program at UNT. I admire her so much for all she has accomplished, but I don't want to wait as long as she did to further my education. I would rather do it now. I crave learning; I love learning, and I am not so sure I am really that good at helping people learn. That was always my biggest fear going into teaching: learning things always came so easily to me. So, how effective can I really be at making sure others grasp the material? Maybe my real place is in the chair, not at the podium.

Perhaps I am just really tired right now, but one thing is for sure: I will get that degree. It makes me sickeningly excited thinking about writing more term papers and developing a thesis. Is it weird that I want to take the GRE?

Spring Break is now officially less than a week away. Praise God.