Hiding Behind a Smile

I think a smile can sometimes function as the best mask there is.

Sure, smiles are often completely genuine, but there are times when we use them to cover up pain and cover up truth. Just think about how many times you have seen someone who asks: "Hey, how are you doing?" and you respond with the expected: "I'm doing well, and you?" It happens to most people at least once a day, I would guess.

And it's not like the other person really anticipates you to say much beyond the politically correct reply. That's made pretty obvious in the fact that people frequently ask this only in passing and don't even slow down their paces to encourage anything other than peachy-keen updates.

But what would be the reaction if "Hey, how are you doing?" were followed by: "Well, actually, things kind of suck right now. I just lost my job, none of my relationships seem to be working out, and I just feel really lonely and helpless right now"? I imagine the person who inquired would regret doing so and feel rather awkward.

After all, it isn't the most normal thing in society for the truth to be so open and for people to make themselves so vulnerable. It makes more sense to put on a smile to mask the real emotions we are feeling.

The other day I was having lunch with a friend, and this question popped up. I said something along the lines of the fact that I was tired—which was nothing new—and how I was really glad to have a two-week vacation from work. When I asked her the same, she hesitated—looking as if she were about to give me the antiquated response—but then the truth came out: "Actually, things really suck right now, and I am so frustrated with so many things."

She went on to tell me about all the things that were going on in her life, and I think it really helped the both of us. It was good for her to vent and sort things out as she was telling me, and it was beneficial for me because it helped me get to know my friend even better, and I was able to add it to my prayer list.

I realize that she is already a close friend, so it is a little more natural for her to open up to me about everything going on in her life, but why can't we be that way with more people? Or why can't we, as the inquirers, expect more honest answers? How are we to get to know more people on deeper levels if we can't even spare a few minutes to listen to them and offer either encouraging words or simply an ear. Many times, just letting people say things aloud that have been bottled up for too long can be very freeing and helpful. Sometimes it feels better just to get things off our chests. Sometimes it feels better to wipe off a fake smile and reveal what's really written all over our faces.

So, the next time you ask someone in passing: "Hey, how are you doing?" you might try slowing down your stride just a bit in case that person really does have something to say other than: "I'm doing well, and you?" You might try looking beyond the smile to see if it's hiding pain.

For instance, if you were to see me tomorrow and ask me that question, my reply might be something like: "Well, I feel really let down. I know I should never let the Cowboys get my hopes too high, but they really disappointed me this season. It's as if they didn't even show up to play against the Eagles. Where was the heart? Where was the battle to make the playoffs? Where was the warrior mentality?"

Yes, I will move past this lost sooner or later, but just beware that if you ask me in the next few days how I am doing, I am not likely to say: "I'm doing well, and you?"

Right now, it's just too difficult to hide behind a smile and mask the heartache America's Team has caused me.

A Wedding Singing Ice Day

Every once in a while, it's nice to have some ice.

School was canceled today because of "inclement weather." To be honest, we probably could have had school. I even went up to the building to work on a few things, and the roads really weren't that bad. But, it was relaxing to have a day to do pretty much nothing, besides the editing I did at the school for a video I shot for the orchestra concert.

On the way home from the school, I stopped at Tom Thumb for a few things, and I found a really great bargain! There, sitting on a movie rack, was The Wedding Singer for only $9.99! This flick has one of my all-time favorite movie scenes of all times. It comes at the end on the plane when Adam Sandler comes out with a guitar and sings to Drew Barrymore. If I ever get married, the song with which he serenades her will be the song played during the first dance. I even want to include the part where the British guy (a.k.a. Billy Idol) talks over the loudspeaker introducing the performance.

I immediately went home and watched the movie. Man, I forgot just how great it is. There are so many things about it. And how hilarious is it that George only knows one song: "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?"

Adam Sandler has played his share fair of classic roles, including Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. But Robbie Hart is definitely one character that should not be overlooked. He is beyond cool. He makes the 80s so much more incredible than they already were, and they were pretty darn special.

And the lyrics to the song in the great scene are brilliant. I leave you with the words that will play if I ever walk down the aisle and get that special first dance:

Billy Idol: Good afternoon, everyone. We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving up to 30,000 feet, and then we've got clear skies all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringing you some in-flight entertainment. One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song inspired by one of our coach passenger, and since we let our first-class passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

Robbie Hart:
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

I'll need you
Feed you
And even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

Coach Madness

I never realized just how much money some people are willing to spend.

I went to a Coach outlet today, and I was simply amazed at the prices of some of the purses and wallets there. It was unbelievable! And this was an outlet, so these prices were actually lower in comparison to the normal retail stores.


I also couldn't believe how insanely crowded it was. Seriously, as soon as I walked in there, I felt like I had entered a wilderness cave full of hungry, roaring beasts ready to attack. OK, so that's a rather extreme way to describe a bunch of women on a shopping frenzy, but, still, it was a sight to see.

I saw signs saying 50 percent off and 30 percent off certain items, so I immediately went to the sales areas. The original prices made me blink! Who would pay that much for a handbag??! Well, apparently a lot of people would. And they were doing it all around me.

One thing that really struck me was that some of the wallets were more expensive than a lot of the handbags. I pointed this out to one of the salesladies, and she told me it was so worth it. After all, they are specially made and guaranteed the last longer than a lifetime. Sorry, lady: nothing on this earth is going to last that long. Not even a little clutch made by Coach himself (I'm really not sure this is named after an actual coach...in fact, I highly doubt it. Clearly I have not done my research on this particular brand).

I had gone into this store to find a new purse for my mom. She never treats herself to anything frivolous, and she is in desperate need for a new purse. In fact, my dad told me that just the other day she was just complaining about how crummy hers is. My mom deserves so much more than a silly old Coach purse, but I figured it's the best I could do.

Oddly enough, I found a pretty good deal for her. I walked out of there with a perfect purse for my mom, and I had paid way less than the original price. The tag said the normal retail price was $300. This outlet store had charged $209, but, with the 50 percent discount, it only cost me $113 something with tax. (I say only very lightly.) I was only willing to pay that much money because it was for my mom. I would do anything for any of my family members, and it's not like my mom would ever expect anything so pricey. In fact, being the incredible woman that she is, she would be satisfied with a homemade gingerbread house or Popsicle-stick picture frame (both of which have already been given to her). But I decided that, after all she has done and sacrificed for me in my 24 years, she could use a little something to make her feel extra classy. (She doesn't need a purse for that, though. I mean it when I say that this woman is in a class of her own that surpasses any raging wild beast in the Coach Cave...and I don't mean to offend anyone who owns anything Coach-related. I just really love my mom and think no one compares to her.)

So, yes, my pockets were emptied today, and my eyes were opened even further to the greed and unnecessary spending that befall Americans daily. And, yes, I became victim to them, as well. But at least I will get to see the look on my mom's face as she opens her gift and is shocked and happy at the same time. And that will be a more beautiful sight than anything Coach could ever put on a shelf.

I Want to Follow the Way of the Zebra

I found out Sunday that Zebras are extremely smart.

Our sermon in church talked about how wildebeests often go on their wild stampedes, and the leader of the pack doesn't always make the best of decisions. Because they are not very smart animals in their nature, the wildebeests all follow the leader wherever he goes—even if it's straight off a cliff!

Zebras, on the other hand, have intelligence. They can even walk just 20 minutes after they are born! The lead male of the herd usually stays in the back of the pack when these nomadic creatures are roaming so that he can protect the others, if necessary, from predators. The females and youngsters will flee from the danger during this time. These leaders protect those under them and would never lead their followers into danger—or off cliffs.

Zebras also have great hearing and eyesight and can even see well at night—comparable to that of a cat or an owl. And their stripes are like that of human fingerprints—each unique in its own pattern.

After soaking in all of this information, it didn't take me too long to decide that I would much rather be a zebra and follow other zebras than live the life of a wildebeest.

I mean, who would really want to be a "wild beast," anyway? For starters, there is that drastic appearance: uncommonly large head, overly shaggy mane, pointed beard and hideous horns atop that disaster of a facade.

No, I would much rather be a Zebra.

I learned that I also want to follow the Zebras. I don't want to live my life like all of the wildebeests who chase things that don't matter and end up running themselves off the edges of cliffs. There are too many temptations and struggles in this life, and I don't want mine to take that turn. It makes more sense to follow the Zebra.

A Zebra knows what it means to be a leader; Zebras know what it means to stand out for something—or for someone. After all, you can't have all of those stripes and think you are going to blend in with the crowd.

But the cool thing about those stripes is that they serve as protection against the enemy. When a large herd of Zebras is together, it is quite the challenge for lions and other predatory animals to distinguish which one to chase. They all kind of blend together to form a blobbish figure. So, taking this on an analytical note, that's how we can be as Christians. If we all act as Zebras and come together as one body in Christ, it will be much harder for the Enemy to overpower us. We will become one giant blobbish figure for Jesus, and it will be beautiful.

I want to follow the Zebra. I want to be the Zebra. The Zebra cannot be the Lord, but it sure can lead others to Him.

When the stampede begins, make sure you aren't running with those heinous wildebeests to the edge of the cliffs. Instead, go with the stripes—they will lead you to the Kingdom.

This is the Real World

I miss writing so much.

Writing is one of my greatest passions, and I just haven't been able to find time to do much of it lately. I am still trying to find that balance as a first-year teacher between my job and the rest of my life. I'm not going to lie: it's been a huge challenge. I used to write as much as I could in my spare time. Now all I want to do is sleep with every spare minute I can find.

I wrote a novel and finished the whole thing over the summer. I even met with a publisher about getting it out into this world. The only problem (besides the fact that I have absolutely no spare money to make it happen) is that I don't have the time even to re-proof it.

It's really weird being a "grown up." When I was younger, I never thought it would happen. I kind of felt like it was one of those things that you knew was there but would never actually happen to you—kind of like winning the lottery. But I don't feel like I've won anything at all. Sure, I have a lot more freedoms than I once did, but I also feel like there are so many more restrictions. This morning, as I was driving to work, I saw a kid in the back of a Tahoe watching a movie. We never actually had those privileges when I was in the backseat, but I still remember what it felt like to have absolutely no worries whatsoever. I just got to ride in the backseat and think about nothing but how badly I wanted to score a goal in my next rec league soccer game. Or how unfair it was that my brother got the front seat and I was stuck in the back. Man, I really missed those days as I thought about how I was now not only in the front seat but driving the dang vehicle.

But is it really so bad being in the driver's seat?

I guess I'm just not completely ready for all of this. There are just so many things that come with being an adult that I don't want to handle just yet. I suppose I don't have a choice, though. Growing up happens so fast, whether we want it or not. One comfort I do find is that I really can sit back and relax in the backseat and let the ultimate Driver take the wheel.

I may not get to write as much as I like anymore, but at least I know that a new page is being written in my life every day.

Another Sub-Desk Nap

I took another nap under my desk again today.

It felt nice to escape from the world for a little bit and catch some rest. I think I take on way too many projects far too often. My problem is that I just want to help people. I usually offer help for something and then want to kick myself later because everything I have piled up is driving me into the ground. Then I feel guilty for getting aggravated about having to do the tasks I have previously agreed to do. It's a vicious cycle when you think about it.

So, why did I just take on two more projects for two of my co-workers? That's a really good question. I honestly have no idea. All I know is that I was so tired that I went to bed at 8:15 last night and then took a nap under my desk during my conference period.

And I am by no means a super emotional person, but all of this fatigue has had an effect on that. I can't tell you how many days I have almost broken down into tears over fairly dumb things. I haven't actually hit the point where tears fall, but it freaks me out how close I have gotten. After all, I hate crying. And I do mean I hate it.

Last Friday was the closest I came to the waterworks. It was the last class period of the day, and my class was being awful. So many of the kids were being disrespectful, and I ended up having to give out two detentions. They are the only two I have given out so far, and I really didn't want to have to do it. I had already been feeling like a horrible teacher all day, and that was just the cherry on top that said, "Oh, hey, by the way, you suck at your job! What were they thinking when they hired you?" I still ask myself that question almost on a daily basis, but hopefully that will change soon.

I have heard of first-year teachers getting into slumps and feeling rather worthless, and I would have to say I have hit that point. Each day, I have to pray that God will get me through it and that I would know what I am doing. The latter part is stressed pretty greatly. I want to make a difference in these kids' lives, but there are moments where I feel like they just don't give a crap about one syllable that is coming out of my mouth. Then there are those priceless moments where they say rude and vulgar things and think they can get away with it just because I am still young and not too much older than they are.

Don't get me wrong: I do love my job. I just wish it loved me back sometimes.

Happy Birthday, Squirt

My little sister is 22 today!

I love my sister more than anything in the world. She is seriously so amazing. I have never known someone who is quite like her. It's really hard to put into words just how much she means to me. She's my best friend, and I hope that she has an incredible day!

Some Big Wins

I don't like either OU or UT, but I was happy to see the Longhorns defeat the Sooners in yesterday's Red River Shootout. I was tired of seeing OU in the No. 1 spot, so it was good to see such an upset. As a bonus, I was glad to see another Shipley get a big victory. Jordan Shipley, the Longhorn who ran back the 96-yard kickoff return for a touchdown, is the son of Bob Shipley, who is now the coach of the Coppell Cowboys. Coppell, my alma mater, notched a HUGE win over Southlake Carroll Friday night in double overtime.

To add to the fun, my OSU friends were thrilled to see their Pokes beat Mizzou. Chase Daniel, the quarterback for OSU, is a product of Southlake Carroll, so I found it funny that some more Cowboys beat Southlake...

What's Wrong with ESPN??

I am not too happy right now: for some reason ESPN isn't working right now. All of the other cable channels are functioning, including ESPN2, but ESPN is out. I can't start my morning right without SportsCenter! Keep your fingers crossed that it comes back up soon. I'm not sure I can deal with the normal news for much longer.

Sleep in Abundance

I have not slept this much in a long—and I mean REALLY long—time.

Last night, I was so exhausted, so I went to sleep at 8:45. Yes, I said 8:45. No, I am not 74 yet, but I did crash before 9 p.m. I was just THAT tired. I woke up around 6 a.m. and was shocked at how many hours I had been sleeping through reality. More than nine hours...are you serious??! I hadn't gotten that much sleep in...in...wow...it's been so long that I don't even remember! I'm used to getting about five or six hours of sleep at the most, so this was a huge accomplishment for me. And I must admit, it felt absolutely wonderful. But, little did I know, I wasn't finished just yet. I still had two naps ahead of me. No, that's not a typo. I really said two naps.

I ate breakfast while I watched the early edition of Sportscenter, and then I went running. It was such a great run, too. I discovered a new course, and (not to sound too much like Pollyanna) the weather was absolutely gorgeous this morning, as the sun made its way to the heights of the ocean-blue sky. Sorry, I just couldn't escape the Hayley Mills optimism on that one—it was just so nice out!

After I came home and showered, I watched the most recent Sportscenter (though it was really much of the same as the one I had already seen) until College GameDay—a show around which I plan my Saturday mornings, and I become rather grouchy if for some reason I have to miss it. I started watching the Penn State vs. Purdue game, and this is where nap No. 1 happened. It's not that I was bored with the game; I was just tired beyond belief. Apparently the enormous amount of sleep I had gotten during the night just wasn't enough. Well, it turns out this nap wasn't, either.

I woke up almost two hours later. Yes, two hours later. I watched football until I decided to go sit poolside at my apartment complex during halftime of the Notre Dame vs. Stanford game. I had been inside a long time, so I decided it might be best to get a little fresh air. The sun must have really drained all of my energy, because I fell asleep for another two hours when I got back. It was seriously ridiculous! I've still been pretty useless since then. I somehow managed to make a trip to Wal-Mart for a few essentials, but I have pretty much remained in the same comfy chair all day long.

Now that most of the good games have ended, I will probably call it a night soon. Mizzou is whipping up on Nebraska, so I might not make it to the final whistle on this one...

Besides, I need to rest up for a big day in the NFL tomorrow. Ocho Cinco is coming to town, and I am excited to see the great Terrell Owens outshine him at Texas Stadium. If nothing else, it sure will be entertaining to see the two of them try to outdo each other in touchdown celebrations. I just hope T.O. will have more. Many more.

GO COWBOYS!!

Mass Chaos

Ketchup Love

I really do love ketchup. Seriously, I am not sure words can even describe how much.

I honestly could eat ketchup on anything. And I mean anything. I have a ketchup sandwich for lunch every day, and I love every last bite of it. I am getting hungry just thinking about it right now.

You can't really eat macaroni and cheese without ketchup. That would just be silly. And who doesn't love carrots dipped in the delectable condiment? Mmmmm...my mouth is watering right now.

If it's a food I like, then I have probably put ketchup on it. For some reason, I just felt the need to talk about my love of ketchup for a moment or so.

Wowza

I really didn't want USC to lose last night, but I guess that's just the way things go sometimes. It's not that I am a huge Trojan fan, but I would rather not have some of the other schools in the top of the polls move into the No. 1 spot. It's not like SMU has a shot of getting there, anyway. The Ponies can't even beat Tulane, for crying out loud! I am giving June Jones this year to get the program together. One year. You hear that, buddy?

Relaxation Will Feel So Great

I can't wait to get some rest this weekend. Things have been so chaotic lately, and I really just want to sleep.

My Sister

I am really excited for my sister. She has a lot of random things going on in her life, and she seems to be handling them like the champ that she is. She has always been amazing, and I love getting to spend time with her. We got to hang out a lot last weekend when we went to the SMU vs. TCU game together (yes, she goes to TCU...I don't want to talk about the game!), and then she came with me that night to a friend's house to hang out. We always have a blast together and can take pretty much any situation and turn it into something hilarious. Somehow we enter into our own little world of sorts and get the biggest kick out of the simplest stuff.

Steph is in the process of making a rather huge decision for her life, and it will be interesting to see how it all turns out. I know her faith in Christ will lead her the right way, and she is always one to be obedient to Him.

Family

I seriously have the best family ever. No lie. The end.

Let Me Serve!

At times it is really peculiar how some things work out.

I have been thinking about service a lot lately and striving to be more of a servant in my own life. Then, of course, it was a topic of discussion in church. We are to be imitators of Christ, who gave the perfect example of what service is. I mean, dying for the sins of the world is a pretty big sacrifice if you ask me!

So why is it so hard for us to do even the smallest things for other people? I am guilty of this so much that it's rather sad. Too often we get consumed by our own selfish ambitions that it's almost impossible to see those around us who are in dire need of help.

I love those commercials where the people see others doing small acts of kindness and then are inclined to do a favor for someone else. It's a chain of service that loops back around, and the viewer gets to see the person who initially started the commercial. True, not every single person who sees you serve someone is going to repeat what you did, but there is the slightest chance someone could, and that's pretty cool.

Plus, serving others is what we are called to do. If we are not living with a purpose, then why are we even here. My purpose is to live my life for Christ every single day, serving Him as I extend love to others. The only problem is the sinful hypocrisy that gets in the way when I am too tired or absorbed in my own little world to see the needs that are really out there.

So, my goal is to start serving more. If not, I am really just being rather useless.

If you need anything, let me know. I am here to serve. :)

The Looming 24

It's so weird to think that I will be 24 in less than a month. I know it's not really considered "old," but it just seems like it got her so fast! Since when did I become a grown up?

I feel as if there are so many things I haven't done that a 24-year-old should have done by now. I know there is no template to what a person this age should have experienced, and I realize that some people are allotted more privileges than others, but there are some areas in life where I feel like I have been left behind to a certain extent.

I still have never left the country. Not even to Mexico. Yes, I would love to be able to go to places in Italy, France, Australia and various other foreign countries, but I just haven't gotten the chance yet. I mean, I haven't even ventured as far as Hawaii. And, though this seems rather un-American, I still have not yet made the trek out to Disney World. I know—it's shameful.

It is also strange at times to think how many of my friends are either engaged, married or expecting a little bundle of joy pretty soon. I am still waiting on my first relationship. My first kiss. My first date. When I was a little girl, I determined that I would be married by the time I reached 24. Clearly that will not be happening.

I have also never been to any of those tanning places. They kind of creep me out.

Don't get me wrong: I am definitely thankful for the things I have done in life and the opportunities that have been afforded to me. I guess I just feel like there are times when I wonder if I have wasted time in these 24 years not doing certain things. Then again, I am happy with the things that have occurred in my life and the people who have been there along the way.

I mean, I really don't feel too deprived that I haven't been to another country, because I have gotten to stay close to my family longer.

And, even though I have never gotten that dating experience, I don't have any regrets or terrible heartaches lingering over me. I know that if I am meant to be with someone it will happen on God's timing and not my own.

And I definitely am not crying about not going to fake tan.

Though these 24 years have gone quickly, I have made some great memories with the opportunities and people placed in my life, and I don't think I have really missed out on too much. Plus, I hope that there are many years ahead of me to get to experience those things that I haven't yet.

First Week Survival and More

Wow, I sure was tired last night! After my first week of being a high school teacher, I was absolutely spent. I ended up falling asleep to the SMU game before 9. It was pretty ridiculous, but it sure felt great! I love my job, but it sure can be tiring, that's for sure. I had been told that the first week of school pretty much sucks the life out of you, and those people weren't lying.

I am really excited that it's a three-day weekend. Yay for Labor Day! Plus, college football is going on all day today, and I don't plan on leaving being in front of my television much to miss any of it. Flashing back to last night, it is obvious that the Mustangs have some work to do. We are happy to have June Jones here, but he is going to have to make us a lot better than that if he is going to prove he's worth it. Pony up!

I have always gotten a kick out of show boaters. I am a huge Terrell Owens fan (always have been), and I definitely enjoy all the antics of one Ocho Cinco. So, when I found out that Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco, I thought it was pretty hilarious and awesome at the same time. I mean, seriously. You've got to love NFL wide receivers: they're divas, they know it, and they love it. Just listen to the Michael Irvin Show on 103.3 FM ESPN Radio on weekdays from 11-2, and you will never question that again.

Lastly, I want to congratulate my good friends Erika and Josh, who welcomed into this world their new baby boy, Leo. I am so happy for them, and I know they are going to be two of the most wonderful parents this world has ever known!

Time to get excited for College GameDay!

Hunk of Junk

I am a little concerned about my car. I drive a Chevy Crapalier, and I would love nothing more than to get rid of it. Yes, I know I should be thankful that I even have a car, but I seriously hate this thing. It's been through a lot, and it always takes me down with it.

The check engine light has been on for three years now. Don't ask me how it ever passes inspection; I will never be able to explain that one. Last year, I had the check engine light turned off and reset, and then I had to drive my car a certain amount of miles before I could get it inspected. It barely passed. As I was pulling out of the parking lot of Kwik Kar, can you guess what lit up once again? Seriously, it was miraculous.

Most recently, I had some troubles with the condenser. Don't ask me why, because I have no clue. I got a new air conditioning last year (for way too much money, I might add), so you can imagine my frustration when it stopped working again this summer. Shouldn't new compressors last more than 12 months? The answer is yes, yes they should. Well, it turns out that flippin' condenser was shooting metal scraps into other parts of my engine, and they had polluted my compressor. I don't even like to think about how much more that cost me.

When I am not using my emergency parking brake, the Cavy doesn't care; it still lets the stupid little light glow saying the brake is in place. And the ABS light is on, but there is supposedly nothing wrong with my brake system. After all, I had to get new brakes two years ago.

And I won't touch too much on the fact that my car automatically veers heavily to the right if you aren't touching the steering wheel. I had my alignment redone back in November after I got a flat tire and had to get a new one. But there is still that distinctive pull to the right. I can't quite explain it, and, at this point, I would expect nothing less.

My inspection sticker is almost expired; I have less than a month left. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Occasionally I have thoughts of setting my car on fire, but I have never really liked handling flames after I burned my pinky finger once when I was about 7 or so. The Cavy has almost 100,000 miles on it, so it wouldn't sell for more than about $200, if that. I personally probably wouldn't even give up a Snickers bar for it, and I hate chocolate.

Suffice to say, I need a new car.

Peruna

I got a new kitty today! But it almost didn't happen...story time!

So, mom's friend Shelley has a cat that had kittens. Shelley's family only wanted to keep one, and they had already given the rest away and offered one to us. So, my mom and I went to pick it up this morning. However, when we got there, Shelley couldn't find Snooze, the one her family had decided to keep. I started playing with Peruna (the name I gave to the kitty we were supposed to get). But then we all went on a search.

We practically turned Shelley's house upside down multiple times trying to find this kitty, but we had no luck. Snooze was officially MIA. After about an hour, my mom and I went home without Peruna. It was so sad, but we couldn't just take the last kitten with the other one missing. Shelley's daughter was away at camp and would be absolutely heartbroken about losing Snooze, and it would be double heartache if there were no kittens left. Not only was I sad because I had to leave Peruna, but I was also worried about poor Snooze. Where was he??!

I was running some errands with my mom when Shelley called later in the afternoon. Snooze had reappeared! She had no idea where he had been, though. She had gone to work for a little bit and come home to find him playing with his mother! Yay!

So my mom and I went back to pick up Peruna. I am so happy! She looks a lot like Tabster. We came home and my mom left to go buy a little bed for her. Then, we took a nice little nap together when Peruna fell asleep on my tummy. She is so precious!

A Random Collaboration

The Last Day
Today is my last day working at the rec center. Woohoo! I can't wait to get started with all my teaching stuff, and I will be glad to be gone from the rec. Don't get me wrong: I like my co-workers and the members who come here, but it's time to move on now. I have worked here for so long, and it's definitely a good thing that I start something new. The CARC will somehow manage without me. No more washing dirty sweat towels; no more being a lifeguard (though that was a brief stint); no more program registration; no more cleaning grime off of exercise machines; no more daily settlements; no more swim lesson chaos. It will be nice to be free of so much redundancy.

You're the Winner!
This usually doesn't happen to me, but I won a random radio contest the other day. I was listening to ESPN Radio (as usual), and there was a contest to be the 10th caller to win a pair of tickets to the Snoop Dogg and 311 concert. Not that I really had much of a desire to go, but I called, anyway. I can normally never get through when I am trying to win something I actually want. But, as irony would have it, I hear on the other line: "Congratulations! You're the 10th caller!" Wow. I ended up giving the tickets to my older brother so he can go with his girlfriend, but it was still pretty cool to win them. The bonus was the three U2 CDs that accompanied the tickets. I am a huge U2 fan, so it all worked out pretty nicely.

Brett Favre
I have already said too much. I am getting pretty tired of hearing about all of it. He should have either stayed retired or never had that tear-jerking press conference in which he announced his retirement at the end of last season.

Ian Kinsler
I want to marry him. End of story.

Relaxation
I have had a little down time lately, and I am going to have a bit more before the new school year starts. I seriously love it. I think it's important every once in a while to soak up the beauty that is God's creation and do almost nothing. I have gone to the pool at my brother's old apartments a few times this week, and it has been so wonderful. There haven't been that many people there, so it has been relatively peaceful. I love just getting to sit in the water and not stress out or worry about things that really don't matter much in the long run, anyway. Yesterday started out with such ugly weather, but the Lord really made it into a marvel that I thoroughly enjoyed. Again, it's important to do this sometimes. After all, what's the point in living if you aren't really living?

That Was A Bit Weird

I attended a workshop in College Station this weekend, and it was quite an odd flashback to my past...one that I don't really care to remember all that much.

I went to Texas A&M University for a year and a half, and I hated it. People who go there are normally wrapped up in all of the traditions and cult-like practices. Not me. I wasn't even a "two percenter," as those not quite up to par in the school spirit department are labeled. I called myself more of a negative eight percenter or so. I couldn't stand any of it, and I was glad to escape the madness. I never went back there...until last Friday for this publications workshop.

Besides a few more additions of restaurants and shopping centers, not much has changed in Aggieland. They still bleed maroon down there. Even though this workshop had nothing to do with people wanting to attend the school, the Yell Leaders still opened up the workshop for us by teaching us various traditions and then having us partake in some yells with them. Needless to say, I chose not to partake. It felt way too much like I was taking a giant step back into a dark part of my past that I just want to erase.

The entire four days that I spent in College Station almost seemed surreal. I hadn't been there in so long, and a bunch of memories began flooding my mind at certain points throughout the workshop. Sure, I had some good times while I was there (it's always best to find the good in everything, right?), but the overall experience was just plain awful. I really never wanted to go back to the campus, and I don't think I will be returning there anytime soon. It's just too...too...weird.

The good thing about this workshop was that I had good company with me. It was for part of my new journalism teaching job, and I am glad I got to spend some time with my co-workers. We had some really good times, and those helped to overshadow the bad vibes I get every single time I am in Maroontown.

We all have had crummy experiences in life, and I guess that we eventually have to face them again on occasion—even if it involves surrounding yourself with Aggie crazies.

The Hero Prevailed

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"My older brother."

For the longest time when I was a kid, this was my answer. Yes, I am a girl, so this was not exactly possible (not that it would be even if I were a boy, but that's beside the point), but I wanted to be exactly like him. He was my hero, and I followed him everywhere. My first word was "Dis," because I was trying to say Chris, which is his name.

When my brother, who is two years older than I am, started playing soccer, I wanted to be on the field, as well. True, the Gatorade at halftime was a huge incentive, but Chris also had a lot to do with it. Anyway, I also joined a tee ball team when he did. I wanted to play football, but I wasn't allowed. However, I always played the pick-up games in the street with my brother and his friends. Sure, he would complain and tell me I couldn't play and I should go home, but I never listened. I knew he would end up letting me play. And he always did. He even took up for me when other boys complained that a girl was playing.

I even took up golf so that I could be just like Chris. I was so impressed with how good he was at everything, and I strived to achieve what he had. I felt so special when both of us won the youth golf tournament in our city two summers in a row. I chose to neglect the fact that the only reason I won was because I was the only girl both times. That was not important. All that mattered was that I got the same place as my brother.

It wasn't until high school that I lost Chris as a hero. I had always told myself that he was too good to fall into the traps that so often take hold of teenagers. I was wrong, and slowly I no longer wanted to do the things my brother did. I didn't ask to tag along with him places, because I knew it could likely lead to trouble. He wouldn't have let me come, anyway. And there is no way he would have taken up for me.

I am glad I became my own person, but I was always sad that I had lost a hero. It was weird to see Chris as mortal. He did mature a little during his college years, and I even tagged along with him on occasion to play basketball with guys at the YMCA. Just like when we were kids, he would just say, "My sister is playing. She's on my team." Those words were always like music to my ears. And he let be an assistant coach to him for a YMCA youth basketball team. Together, we coached those kids all the way to the city championship.

When my brother officially moved out and started working in the "real world," he started losing touch with the family more and more. Sure, we still see him and talk to him quite a bit, but it's just not the same. He's doing his own thing now, and it's often hard to connect with him. I have called him a few times to do things at the spur of the moment, like play tennis or something, but I usually get rejected. He always tells me I need to ask him in advance for things. After all, he is a busy man and has a schedule.

Well, I asked him in plenty of time to attend a murder mystery dinner at my church in which I was an actress. He wavered back and forth and kept saying he wasn't completely sure. I finally told him he pretty much had no choice, and I would see him there. He's been dating this girl for a pretty decent time now, and I told him to bring her. It would be a fun date. Honestly, I was afraid he wasn't actually going to show up. For some reason it was really important to me that he be there, but I was a bit nervous that I was going to be left disappointed. I'm so glad I was wrong.

My brother actually came to the dinner! Before the show started, I kept walking over to the door and looking out the window to see if I could see him walking up. As the time to start got closer, I decided I should just give up. Then I saw his car pulling into the parking lot! It was such a great moment. I wasn't even thinking about the show; I couldn't have cared less in that instant whether or not I knew my lines (I did, so no worries there). All that mattered was that my big brother cared enough to do something that was really important to be. Yes, he still cared.

I may not look at my brother like he is a superhuman anymore, but he will always be my older brother. I may not want to be him, but I never want to lose him. Besides, he still has his hero moments every now and then.

Welcome to the Whirlwind

Sometimes I feel like my life is a non-stop rollercoaster ride. I love the thrill, but I often get tired of the whiplash.

I definitely like to stay busy, but sometimes I get so busy that I get restless. It doesn't seem like it makes much sense, but it does. Trust me. Everything just starts spinning out of control, and I get so wrapped up in all the madness that I get bored with it. And I crave the mundane, though usually just briefly.

Sometimes I would prefer to do nothing but do nothing. Yes, for a few fleeting moments I would like to sit down and not have some task looming over my head. Those are the times when I just want to throw my planner out the window and not know what is on the agenda. Those are the times when I remember what it was like not to need a planner.

I am a huge fan of spontaneity, so I still see my fair share of things that were not planned. However, somewhere along the way, I had to purchase a planner to make sure I got everything accomplished. I think it started at some point in college when I was taking 18 hours and working more than one job.

Sure, I do occasionally have those lulls where I seem to be twiddling my thumbs all day, but those are rather rare nowadays. I don't even know when the exact transition happened from kid to grown-up, but I feel like it occurred way too quickly. Can't we go back to playing pick-up football in the street until it gets dark and Dad makes us come inside the house?

I guess not. After all, my older brother won't do anything that wasn't on his agenda. It's all about work and success for him. He still plays, but it's not the same. Now playing involves spending a lot of money at posh places and indulging in a bit too much luxury, if you ask me.

And my little sister is still trying to get through college and decide what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Plus, she was never a real big football fan, anyway.

It's possible that I am just tired of waking up at 3 or 4 something in the morning so I can be to work on time. At least I will be leaving at the end of the month and will start teaching in the upcoming one. I know it will be a task in itself, but it is definitely something to which I am looking forward.

I guess becoming so busy is just a part of life. But I still think it's really important to close the datebook every once in a while to do something you had never really intended. Or perhaps you did, even if subconsciously. But I doubt you wrote it in your planner. If so, it might read: Do nothing, and relax. It's time to make sure that one gets crossed off the list.

Ketchup and IKEA

I Put Ketchup on My Ketchup
Ketchup is awesome. I could eat it on anything, and I pretty much do just that. Yesterday, two of my friends (the great Wiese Duo) gave me one of the greatest shirts ever made. It says: "I put ketchup on my ketchup." This couldn't be more true. In fact, tonight I had broccoli cheese soup. It was pretty good, but I made it amazing when I added ketchup to it.

I don't think people appreciate a good helping of ketchup sometimes. They often give weird looks when they see the delectable condiment top off things like carrots, Caesar salads or apples. Where's the fun if you can't add a little (or a whole heck of a lot of) ketchup?

I once saw Miley Cyrus on Leno's show squirt ketchup into her mouth straight from the bottle. She didn't eat very much of it, and I think I could take her if we had a ketchup contest. Maybe I should start challenging people...

I remember this one time I went to a restaurant that didn't have ketchup (Who does that??), and I learned my lesson. Therefore, I always have a handy bottle in my purse, just in case. After all, you never know when you might hit up an establishment that lacks the tomato-based goodness (even if it was a Mexican restaurant...).

I think what I am trying to say is simply that I love ketchup.

IKEA-mania
I had never been to IKEA before today, and I am currently in the market for a bookcase. One of my friends suggested I go to IKEA; they would have cheap ones there. Actually, the prices were not as awful as I thought, and I found myself somewhat intrigued by this store. Usually I hate shopping, but this trip was a little bit fun. And I even found two bookcases that I like!

There were a few things about IKEA that left me in wonder. First of all, there is an escalator to take you upstairs, but there isn't one to take you back down. You either have to take the elevator or meander down the manual stairs. I'm not sure if this is a Swedish thing, but I did find it rather peculiar.

I must also take this moment to admit that I have never been to a furniture store that also had a cafeteria. I suppose some people spend so much time in IKEA that they need to take a lunch break before they go for round two. I mean, the menu is complete with pasta and whatnot. That is pretty hardcore. Is that some sort of Scandinavian tradition? Perhaps I should research more about this place.

I hope this bookcase thing works out. And next time I take a trip to IKEA, perhaps I will not eat lunch before I go. After all, I can eat it there! When at IKEA, do as the Swedes do, I suppose.

The Incomplete Beach

I am at the beach right now, and the only thing missing is my family.

I came to Florida as a leader for the middle school beach camp trip at my church. Honestly, I am so thankful to get to be a part of this trip, and I am definitely having a good time. But, I really wish my family were here right now.

Over the past few years, I have become a lot closer with my parents, and I miss the trips we used to take to the beach when I was growing up. My little sister and I used to pretend like we were in a Baywatch scene, and we would run toward each other in slow motion. I'm not going to lie—it was pretty awesome. My mom always got the biggest kick out of it. We rode waves as a family; we played family tennis matches; and we always ate at specific restaurants on certain nights (my parents don't like change much).

I hadn't been to Florida (or any beach, for that matter) since the summer before my junior year in high school (I'm now 23 years old), and it's just so weird to back here without the rest of the clan. My brother sometimes brought a friend, so my sister and I were attached at the hip while my parents spent too many hours in the sun, and Chris and his buddy did whatever it was teenage boys do at the beach (so, basically, cruise the sand and try to impress chicks). Steph and I usually spent a few hours outside, then we took our reddened bodies back to the condo and vegged out watching a movie until the others got back. It was so relaxing and so much fun. And I didn't realize how much I would miss that.

All the clichés I have always heard are now coming true, and I really am starting to appreciate little things and life and value my family more than I ever thought I would. It's odd, but it's also extremely comforting at the exact same time. I love my family more than I imagined possible, and I wish they could be with me here now, basking in the Florida sun and just having some quality Merrill fun!

The Monday Mix

It's the Eye of the Tiger
I have to start off with mentioning just how incredible Tiger Woods is. Sure, Rocco put up a great fight and definitely impressed a lot of people, but he was defeated by the best golfer this world has ever seen. I mean, did anyone really think Tiger's putt wasn't going in the hole on Sunday to send this thing into a playoff? He handles pressure better than most athletes, and it's come to the point where most people expect him to pull off these amazing feats that keep making him seem inhuman. Props to Rocco for being the everyday guy to face off against the best, and props to the master for soldiering through his knee woes to make the crowds go crazy once again.

I know there are a number of people who would have liked for the underdog to capture the win, but I think an equal or even greater amount of fans were rooting for Tiger at the same time. Even he had to chuckle at some of his outrageous shots (i.e. finding the hole from a sand trap) that were ensuing results of some rather crummy tee-off shots. At least this might make less people claim that golf is nothing but a cause for boredom. I doubt there were many yawns during this tournament that only furthered Tiger's legacy as one of the greatest athletes ever to walk this continent (and the others, for that matter).


A Lovely Weekend
On a completely different note, I had such a fun weekend. Saturday, I spent the majority of my time soaking up the sun by the pool, which felt so amazing after a long week of work! Then, for Father's Day, my parents and I took our kayaks out to the lake and had a blast. My sister is working at a camp this summer, so she couldn't be there, and my brother just didn't make it out our way, but we still had a great time. It was beyond glorious outside, and the amount of wind was just perfect for us. We only have two kayaks, so my dad decided he would rather hike some while my mom and I went out in the water. He walked to some spot in a cove, and my mom knew just where he was going, so we paddled over there to meet him. While we were waiting, my mom and I just floated and basked in the sunshine beating down on us. It felt wonderful! And my dad had fun, which was good, seeing as how it was his day and all.

Compassion
We have been discussing Jonah in my Bible group at church for the past few weeks, and yesterday we really delved in on the topic of God's mercy on those who sin against Him (so, all humans, basically). Then we started talking about how we are called to have that same compassion, and Hitler and Osama Bin Laden were brought into the equation. The question was asked as to whether or not we are to love them, and I say without a doubt that we are. I know they did horrible things, but God's words are not on a conditional basis. The Bible doesn't say: "Love your enemies, except those who are considered notorious terrorists because of their inhumane actions." No, it says: "Love your enemies." No exceptions, no conditions. God first loved us, and we are called to do the same. It can be really, really hard at times, but we aren't the ones who get to decide who gets to receive love and who doesn't. After all, God's love is unconditional. If it weren't, we would be in a bigger mess than we can even imagine. But, thanks to His grace and mercy, we have hope, and we should extend that hope to everyone (including those considered the worst humans imaginable) with as much love and compassion as He showed us.

My Parents Rock

I don't know if I say this enough, but I have pretty amazing parents.

Sure, I may not agree with everything they do or say, but they have always shown unconditional love to me, and I have learned a lot from them throughout my 23 years. In fact, they definitely have played a huge role in making me the person I am today (more than just genetically, of course).

When I hopped around to four different colleges in four years, my parents supported me every step of the way and helped me through the arduous process. My mom was constantly on the phone with the financial aid departments making sure that I could get the best education possible. Yes, I will be paying off some debt for the rest of my life, but at least my mom did what she could to allow me to get the smarts I needed. And never once did they tell me I needed to grow up and start fending for myself. I think this is one reason why I have become such an independent person: my parents never forced me to be, but they certainly didn't coddle me.

When I moved out after college graduation and got on my feet with my first real job. My mom made sure to call me every single day, and my dad usually did, too. And they cared about me. I know they always have, but I think sometimes it takes a little maturing to realize just how valuable your parents are. It's the thing to do to disagree with them when you are in adolescence, but you have to come to terms with reality sooner or later and face the fact that you aren't always right.

My first job ended up not working out, and I needed to move back home. I didn't ask my parents if I could do this; rather, they told me it would probably be in my best interest. They couldn't pay my rent for me, and they didn't want to see me sink in quicksand. "Come home." It's that simple. I didn't have to do anything; they just accepted me and welcomed me home with open arms.

I don't like when my mom calls too much and asks me where I have been, etc. I often flash back to a high school mentality in these moments and give her mundane answers. But I guess that's how moms and dads can be sometimes. After all, they just care. But my dad always tries to play the cool role. "Just let her be," he will tell my mom. We get along a lot better than we did when I was younger. I think we've both done a lot of growing up, and I wouldn't ask for a different dad.

My parents can't give me everything I want or need, but I know they are more than willing to try. My dad always says he wishes he could give me tons of money, but I don't need it. They've given me more than I have ever deserved. In fact, my mom brought me a Subway sandwich tonight because I had to work a triple shift at work today. I didn't ask her to do that, but she did.

I definitely don't say it enough, but I have absolutely amazing parents.

Just Call Me Miss M

When I graduated college last year, I started working as a sports reporter for an online publication. I truly loved my job, though it was rather time consuming and pretty much became my life. So, when I found out we were going out of business, I was very disappointed, but also had a weird feeling of relief.

The only problem was that now I was going to have to move back home and find another job.

I decided I wanted to pursue teaching. I have always wanted to be a teacher and a coach, but I think I had to try the sports reporting thing first. At least now I won't ever sit back and wonder what might have been. Anyway, I started working again at the city rec center where I worked while I was in college and enrolled in a teaching certification program in hopes of being able to start teaching in the upcoming 2008 school year. But, after going to a few teacher job fairs in the area, I began to get a little discouraged. Most of the representitives there told me I was pretty much leftovers and shouldn't hear anything—if at all—until late july or early august. After all, teachers with alternative certification were like the fat kids with a nose-picking problems in dodgeball: always chosen last. What made the situation even harder was the fact that I can't teach anything but journalism in my first year, because that's what my certification field is. There aren't as many journalism openings as things like math, science, english, history...well, you get the point.

I was trying so hard to trust God and His plan in my life, but let's be honest: sometimes that is so hard to do! I started to get really frustrated adn wonder if I was ever going to be successful. I knew I was on the right path, but I felt like it might have been an endless one that never actually reached anything. Of course, I was wrong.

I got called last Friday by a school for a high school journalism teaching position, and I had my interview Monday. I went into the interview with a strange confidence and peace. I wasn't the least bit worried, even though people asked me that interviews in the education profession can sometimes be tricky. But my interview went so smoothly, and I left with an inexplicable peace, and I knew I would be fine. After all, everything was in God's hands—right where it all belonged.

The school called me Tuesday to offer me the job. I wanted to start doing cartwheels across the floor as soon as I found out! I was beyond excited! In fact, I still am! I can't wait to get started and do something about which I am so passionate.

And I cannot even put into words how thankful I am to the Lord right now. He so faithfully answered my prayers in this situation, and I am just in awe. I don't have to spend my summer stressing out about not knowing where I am going to be in the fall or what exactly I will be doing. Instead, I can continue to work and prepare for the road ahead of me.

I definitely don't deserve any of this, but I am more than willing to accept it all. I feel like I have gone a roundabout path to where I am today, but I don't think I would change a single thing. I've been able to learn so much along the way, and I think it's been a process that provided strength of character (at least I hope so).

The Finals Are Here!

You know the networks are happy: Lakers vs. Celtics in the NBA Playoffs is going to get a great amount of viewer statistics.

To be honest, after the Mavs got ousted, I was hoping to see L.A. against Boston. I hate the Spurs, so I was thrilled to see them go, and Detroit is just kind of boring. Plus, the Celtics have been so pathetic in recent years that it is nice to see them on top again. Maybe this match is not as good as Magic against Bird, but Kobe against the Big Three is still pretty intriguing.

The media will clearly have a hay day with this and hype it up all week long until Game 1 on Thursday. There are so many different storylines, and I think it will be fun to see all the old clips and stories from the 1980s. ESPN Classic is going to replay those old games, and I cannot wait to watch them. I love this type of stuff!

Boston won eight of the ten series these two teams have previously played in the NBA Finals. But this 11th matchup is completely different. Kobe Bryant is clearly amazing, and now that he has some extra help with Pau Gasol, the Lakers have the potential to be dominant in the years to come. The Celtics won the only two games they played against the Lakers this season, but that was before the Gasol trade happened. So, it will be interesting to see how the things go down now.

The NBA Finals are going to be awesome this year. I am going to go with the Lakers to win it all, but that might be my Western Conference bias speaking. Regardless, I cannot wait to watch!

My Best Friend's Wedding

One of my best friends got married on Saturday. It's so weird that so many of my friends are doing that lately, but I was glad to be a part of Jenny's big day.

Jenny and I grew up together, and we have a lot of great memories. There was the time I tried catching bees in her backyard because she was afraid of them. After I got stung, we got her dad's thick gardening gloves, then we just started trying to catch the bees in old hermit crab cages. Then there was the time in sixth grade when we helped our friend Sara drag around a stuffed pig, Hamptonian III, on a leash. Yes, middle school is awkward. We once put on a performance for her parents where Jenny hid under a blanket I had wrapped around me and sang a "My Fair Lady" song while I pretended to be singing. She had the better voice.

We also had this special tradition that we called "Duel Time." We would be swimming in her pool, and one of us would declare it "Duel Time," at which point we would beat each other senseless. The first person who called it quits obviously lost. I will also never forget the New Year's Eve when Jenny started counting down from 12 minutes when I was trying to sleep. Needless to say, I wanted to call for "Duel Time" right then, but that was strictly reserved for swim time, so I put up with it for some odd reason.

There are so many other memories that come to mind, and I will always cherish every single one of them. I also look forward to the many other crazy adventures I'm sure we will have in the future. Jenny has always been there for me, and I know she always will be.

Now she is married to Michael, an amazing guy whom she has been dating since our sophomore year in high school. They truly are a perfect match for each other, and it was such a privilege to be involved in their wedding. I am 100 percent sure that their marriage is one that will last forever. They just show so much love for each other, and there has never been a question in my mind as to if they would last or not. Just spend one moment with them, and you'll know for sure that it was meant to be from the beginning.

I usually don't like having to go to weddings much, but the truth is that weddings are beautiful things, and this one was no exception. In fact, it was by far the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended. Plus, it was such a blast! The Emerald City Band played all night, and that dance floor was hoppin'!

I wish that everyone could find love like Jenny and Michael and be able to share such a wonderful experience. I think one of my favorite parts of the night was when I was running to the bathroom, and Jenny stopped me to say, "Natalie, we have to go dance to this song! It's the last song from Get Over It!" And she was right; we couldn't miss that! So, I spun around really fast to head in the other direction and ran right into some stairs, cutting and bruising my forearm in the process. Sure, it hurt, but it was just another memory about which Jenny and I got to laugh and add to our memory bank.

And Runnin', Runnin'

I love to run. I can't quite explain it, but for as long as I can remember, I have loved running.

I grew up playing soccer, so running was something I did quite often. And when everyone complained about having to run, I actually enjoyed it. However, I'm pretty sure I complained, anyway, because that's what you do when you are growing up: you gripe about the things grown-ups make you do.

When I was in middle school, I joined the cross country team just for fun and continued to run in high school. A lot of the time, I put way too much pressure on myself to do well, and I would be angry with myself when I didn't get my fastest time in each race. That's one way you know you're a runner: your mood revolves around whether or not you got a PR (personal record, for those who don't know).

I only ran for one semester in college, and the thing that made me hesitant to do it in the first place became true: running became too much of a job rather than something I enjoyed. But I continued to run on my own—I LOVE road races—and ran the Dallas White Rock Marathon in 2005. That was one of the most fun things I ever did. Seriously. And I cherished every Saturday morning when I went to White Rock Lake to get my big chunk of mileage in for the week during my training.

Running, for me, is so freeing. It's a time when I can't be bothered by anything or anyone in this world. It's a time when I have some of my best conversations with God, and I even come up with some of my most profound epiphanies (yes, it's true).

And running never hurts. I could run for hours and hours and hours...you get the picture. If only there were enough time for that! It's also as if the weather elements vanish when I run. For instance, I get cold very easily, but I always run in shorts. Always. Granted, I might be wearing ski gloves and two or three layers up top, but the shorts remain. And when it's hot, I love it. I barely even notice the blistering Texas heat beating down on me. But if I do, I just pretend I am in a Gatorade commercial, and the world is made right.

It's important to have passions in life. One of mine, obviously, is running. People need to be able to find time to enjoy the things that make them happy and is actually beneficial, such as running. I think too often people get so consumed with work and the daily stresses that add up with no end in sight that they often lose focus on things that help make them at ease and at rest. As odd as it sounds, running is rest for me.

So run with passion, friends (or whatever it is you do).

Tabster

I guess I never realized how hard it is to lose a pet. I mean, we've had pets in our family die in the past, but I didn’t really have that much interaction with them, so it didn’t affect me much. I’m also not an extremely emotional person, so I wasn't as sad as the other members of my family when they were gone.

But Tabster was my cat. I got her when I was in third grade, and I considered her the best cat that ever existed. A lot of people don’t like cats as much as dogs, but she was different. She was a special cat.

I have little scars on my hand from Tabster from when I first got her. We played this little game that usually ended in her attacking my hand. We had a special understanding, but she really liked using her claws.

Every morning, Tabster would wait outside my bedroom door so that I would feed her when I got up. She followed me everywhere until she got her food, and then she rubbed against my leg right before she ate as a way of thanking me, I suppose.

She also did this weird thing where she attacked my head. I would be sitting on our comfy chair in the den, and she would jump up on top of it behind me. Then, she would start smelling my hair before suddenly completely encircling the top of my head. It always made my mom and me laugh, probably because it was so darn strange.

I remember growing up when we would have friends spend the night, and we created this neat, fort-like bungalow bed out of the couch in the den. Usually in the middle of the night, I would awaken to the sound of Tabster acting crazy. She got hyper late at night and would randomly sprint through the house and climb on walls.

She also had a special spot in our house right by the glass door to the backyard where she would "sunbathe," as my mom would call it. One knew not to bother her too much when she was in that spot. I believe that’s how I got at least one scar on my hand.

I knew Tabster was getting up there in age, but she still had such livelihood in her—until the past week, that is. It just suddenly happened that one day she wasn't her normal self. She was weak. She stopped eating. She wouldn’t even drink water. Or, I think it was more that she couldn't drink it. She couldn't even purr anymore. You could tell she was trying, but it just would not happen. And she was no longer outside my door waiting to be fed each morning.

Last night when I got home from an event at my church, I tried making her drink some water. She was so frail and listless, so I tried putting water on her mouth so she could just lick it. But, no matter how hard she tried, she could not even manage to get her tongue out of her mouth. I had a strong feeling that those would be my last moments with my cat. And they were.

I woke up this morning to find Tabster completely gone. It was a heart-wrenching sight for which I was not prepared, and it is unfortunately something I will never forget. But I am glad she is no longer in any pain.

Tabster will never be outside my door in the mornings again, and I won't have my head oddly mauled, but I will always remember what a great addition she was to this family. And I'm glad now that she left some little scars on my hand; at least that way she leaves her mark in my life.