Another Sub-Desk Nap

I took another nap under my desk again today.

It felt nice to escape from the world for a little bit and catch some rest. I think I take on way too many projects far too often. My problem is that I just want to help people. I usually offer help for something and then want to kick myself later because everything I have piled up is driving me into the ground. Then I feel guilty for getting aggravated about having to do the tasks I have previously agreed to do. It's a vicious cycle when you think about it.

So, why did I just take on two more projects for two of my co-workers? That's a really good question. I honestly have no idea. All I know is that I was so tired that I went to bed at 8:15 last night and then took a nap under my desk during my conference period.

And I am by no means a super emotional person, but all of this fatigue has had an effect on that. I can't tell you how many days I have almost broken down into tears over fairly dumb things. I haven't actually hit the point where tears fall, but it freaks me out how close I have gotten. After all, I hate crying. And I do mean I hate it.

Last Friday was the closest I came to the waterworks. It was the last class period of the day, and my class was being awful. So many of the kids were being disrespectful, and I ended up having to give out two detentions. They are the only two I have given out so far, and I really didn't want to have to do it. I had already been feeling like a horrible teacher all day, and that was just the cherry on top that said, "Oh, hey, by the way, you suck at your job! What were they thinking when they hired you?" I still ask myself that question almost on a daily basis, but hopefully that will change soon.

I have heard of first-year teachers getting into slumps and feeling rather worthless, and I would have to say I have hit that point. Each day, I have to pray that God will get me through it and that I would know what I am doing. The latter part is stressed pretty greatly. I want to make a difference in these kids' lives, but there are moments where I feel like they just don't give a crap about one syllable that is coming out of my mouth. Then there are those priceless moments where they say rude and vulgar things and think they can get away with it just because I am still young and not too much older than they are.

Don't get me wrong: I do love my job. I just wish it loved me back sometimes.

Happy Birthday, Squirt

My little sister is 22 today!

I love my sister more than anything in the world. She is seriously so amazing. I have never known someone who is quite like her. It's really hard to put into words just how much she means to me. She's my best friend, and I hope that she has an incredible day!

Some Big Wins

I don't like either OU or UT, but I was happy to see the Longhorns defeat the Sooners in yesterday's Red River Shootout. I was tired of seeing OU in the No. 1 spot, so it was good to see such an upset. As a bonus, I was glad to see another Shipley get a big victory. Jordan Shipley, the Longhorn who ran back the 96-yard kickoff return for a touchdown, is the son of Bob Shipley, who is now the coach of the Coppell Cowboys. Coppell, my alma mater, notched a HUGE win over Southlake Carroll Friday night in double overtime.

To add to the fun, my OSU friends were thrilled to see their Pokes beat Mizzou. Chase Daniel, the quarterback for OSU, is a product of Southlake Carroll, so I found it funny that some more Cowboys beat Southlake...

What's Wrong with ESPN??

I am not too happy right now: for some reason ESPN isn't working right now. All of the other cable channels are functioning, including ESPN2, but ESPN is out. I can't start my morning right without SportsCenter! Keep your fingers crossed that it comes back up soon. I'm not sure I can deal with the normal news for much longer.

Sleep in Abundance

I have not slept this much in a long—and I mean REALLY long—time.

Last night, I was so exhausted, so I went to sleep at 8:45. Yes, I said 8:45. No, I am not 74 yet, but I did crash before 9 p.m. I was just THAT tired. I woke up around 6 a.m. and was shocked at how many hours I had been sleeping through reality. More than nine hours...are you serious??! I hadn't gotten that much sleep in...in...wow...it's been so long that I don't even remember! I'm used to getting about five or six hours of sleep at the most, so this was a huge accomplishment for me. And I must admit, it felt absolutely wonderful. But, little did I know, I wasn't finished just yet. I still had two naps ahead of me. No, that's not a typo. I really said two naps.

I ate breakfast while I watched the early edition of Sportscenter, and then I went running. It was such a great run, too. I discovered a new course, and (not to sound too much like Pollyanna) the weather was absolutely gorgeous this morning, as the sun made its way to the heights of the ocean-blue sky. Sorry, I just couldn't escape the Hayley Mills optimism on that one—it was just so nice out!

After I came home and showered, I watched the most recent Sportscenter (though it was really much of the same as the one I had already seen) until College GameDay—a show around which I plan my Saturday mornings, and I become rather grouchy if for some reason I have to miss it. I started watching the Penn State vs. Purdue game, and this is where nap No. 1 happened. It's not that I was bored with the game; I was just tired beyond belief. Apparently the enormous amount of sleep I had gotten during the night just wasn't enough. Well, it turns out this nap wasn't, either.

I woke up almost two hours later. Yes, two hours later. I watched football until I decided to go sit poolside at my apartment complex during halftime of the Notre Dame vs. Stanford game. I had been inside a long time, so I decided it might be best to get a little fresh air. The sun must have really drained all of my energy, because I fell asleep for another two hours when I got back. It was seriously ridiculous! I've still been pretty useless since then. I somehow managed to make a trip to Wal-Mart for a few essentials, but I have pretty much remained in the same comfy chair all day long.

Now that most of the good games have ended, I will probably call it a night soon. Mizzou is whipping up on Nebraska, so I might not make it to the final whistle on this one...

Besides, I need to rest up for a big day in the NFL tomorrow. Ocho Cinco is coming to town, and I am excited to see the great Terrell Owens outshine him at Texas Stadium. If nothing else, it sure will be entertaining to see the two of them try to outdo each other in touchdown celebrations. I just hope T.O. will have more. Many more.

GO COWBOYS!!