Finding victory in defeat

I really don't like to lose.

So it's sometimes hard to face reality when I come in second place.

Recently, I had a knee injury that kept me from running for almost two months. I spent most of my time pool running, on the alter-g, mastering the elliptical, biking, and rollerblading at warp speed (at least that's what I call it just for kicks). I've only been back running for two weeks, so I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to race yesterday.

Because it was a bad idea.

It was just a 5K, but I'm definitely not back to where I need to be. "Racing shape" is not a phrase I would use to describe me right now. My time was a lot slower than I would prefer, and it was a hard pill to swallow to get second place when the winning time was closer to what I should have run, anyway. I'm fully aware that I am not going to win every race I run, but it's also frustrating to lose to a high schooler—even if she does have four state championship titles (a few track and one cross country) to her name.

Just run.

But, I think what was even worse was the attitude I had about coming in second. Toward the end of the race, when I knew there was no way I was going to catch her, I allowed this phrase to play through my mind: "If you're not first, you're last." (I haven't even seen Talladega Nights. I think the actual quote uses the word "ain't," but I don't acknowledge that word much.) As soon as I thought it, I tried to push it out of my head, because it's rather discouraging.

It wasn't until I was running my cool down that I realized how thankful I should be. I had just raced a 5K with absolutely zero pain in my knee. I am running again, and that is beautiful. No, I didn't run the race I wanted, but there were multiple lessons I can take from the entire experience to help me improve for the next one. Plus, I had just gotten to spend an entire morning with my dear parents and incredible friend Kebbers. I even got to see one of my favorite coaches from high school. I thought about how I should be praising the Lord for all with which He's blessed me rather than feeling like a failure for coming in second.

Besides, regardless of how that race turned out, I knew I wasn't a failure in God's eyes. He has blessed me with the passion and ability to run, and I need to do all I can to glorify Him with those things. I don't think He cares when I cross that finish line, as long as I cross it with everything I have for Him.

While winning sure is fun, it's definitely not everything in life. Those times where we don't perform as well as we'd hoped can turn out to be great learning experiences that help us build up to do better the next time we toe the line. Run to win, but be prepared for defeat, because losing a competition is not true defeat. Real defeat comes when we don't have the One in our lives who has the ultimate victory.

And being a winner in Christ is so much better than any victory we could ever get from any type of road race.