This is the Real World

I miss writing so much.

Writing is one of my greatest passions, and I just haven't been able to find time to do much of it lately. I am still trying to find that balance as a first-year teacher between my job and the rest of my life. I'm not going to lie: it's been a huge challenge. I used to write as much as I could in my spare time. Now all I want to do is sleep with every spare minute I can find.

I wrote a novel and finished the whole thing over the summer. I even met with a publisher about getting it out into this world. The only problem (besides the fact that I have absolutely no spare money to make it happen) is that I don't have the time even to re-proof it.

It's really weird being a "grown up." When I was younger, I never thought it would happen. I kind of felt like it was one of those things that you knew was there but would never actually happen to you—kind of like winning the lottery. But I don't feel like I've won anything at all. Sure, I have a lot more freedoms than I once did, but I also feel like there are so many more restrictions. This morning, as I was driving to work, I saw a kid in the back of a Tahoe watching a movie. We never actually had those privileges when I was in the backseat, but I still remember what it felt like to have absolutely no worries whatsoever. I just got to ride in the backseat and think about nothing but how badly I wanted to score a goal in my next rec league soccer game. Or how unfair it was that my brother got the front seat and I was stuck in the back. Man, I really missed those days as I thought about how I was now not only in the front seat but driving the dang vehicle.

But is it really so bad being in the driver's seat?

I guess I'm just not completely ready for all of this. There are just so many things that come with being an adult that I don't want to handle just yet. I suppose I don't have a choice, though. Growing up happens so fast, whether we want it or not. One comfort I do find is that I really can sit back and relax in the backseat and let the ultimate Driver take the wheel.

I may not get to write as much as I like anymore, but at least I know that a new page is being written in my life every day.