Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My ovaries don't like me

I am frustrated beyond belief, and it just keeps piling up.

Almost two weeks ago, I had unexpected oral surgery without even being knocked out. It was absolutely awful, and I tasted blood in my mouth for days. I was on pain meds for quite some time, but I finally got back into the swing of things, and I thought I could be carefree.

Wrongo.

The first week back to work, things went downhill. I was in Dallas doing a mile-repeat workout, when I started to feel a weird pain during the first repeat. I had felt fine in the warmup and decided it was nothing, so I tried to ignore it. During the second one, the pain increased, and at first I thought maybe I had pulled a groin muscle. This concerned me, because Ian Kinsler has been out for what seems like forever with that injury, and I can't afford that right now. I tried to start the third repeat, and I couldn't go one step.

I stayed back and tried to stretch out, but it really felt like it was something not related to a muscle at all. I was in too much pain for my group to get back, so I thought I would jog back to my car. That quickly turned into a hobble. It was awful.

By the time I finally made it into work (five minutes late, because it took me way longer than planned to make it from my car to the cafeteria—where our entire faculty was meeting), the pain had magnified to an unbelievable level. When we were dismissed to go meet in various classrooms with our departments, I stood up and immediately sat back down. I was going nowhere.

My coworkers were so awesome about making sure I got to the ER, and one of them even stayed with me all day long. I won't go into all of the uncomfortable details about what went on in the hospital, but it turns out I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured, and that's what was causing the pain.

It's been exactly a week today, and the pain is not entirely gone. I hate this, because I can't run.

I. Can't. Run.

I am going crazy here, and a few people have even said things to me like, "Well, maybe it's just not in God's plan for you to be a runner." Or, "Clearly God is trying to tell you to slow down."

Wow, I'm so thankful for all of these people who have suddenly been given the gift of ultimate discernment.

Honestly, I really don't think God would have given me such a passion for running, along with the ability to do so, if He were just going to take it away. Then again, I'm no sage. All I know is, I don't know why this happened, but I really hope to be back to normal again soon.

I really want to cry, and I don't cry.

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