What it's not

Sometimes a good slap in the face is just what we need.

I had originally requested off work yesterday, because I was supposed to be running the Boston Marathon. Well, even though that didn't happen (see previous post), I still decided to take the day off. I figured I would need it so that I could sulk about not being in Bean Town.

Wonderful attitude, I know.

As usual, however, God had other plans for me. When I was pool running yesterday morning, I was praying for my friends who would be running the marathon, and then I asked for a peace and selflessness so that I would not spend the day thinking about how unfair it was that I was stuck in a chlorine-filled tank when I really should be running the same streets as Kara Goucher. As I kept talking to Jesus, it became more and more apparent to me that this day really wasn't about me at all—I really just needed to be there for my friends and set aside my selfish pride.

Jayna is so sweet!

When I got back into the locker room I checked my phone and saw that I had a text from my friend Jayna, who was running the marathon. The text was a picture of her hand with the letter "N" written on it, and she said, "For you girl!!! Love love love you!"

I can't even begin to describe how humbled I felt in that moment.

I know if I had been running Boston, I would have spent all morning freaking out. I get horrible pre-race anxiety, and I'm sure I would have been having a panic attack. Essentially, it would have been all about me. But here was Jayna, one of the sweetest women I've ever met, sending me a text on the morning of one of the biggest races in the country to show me that she was taking me with her for the full 26.2 miles. It was such a wonderful example to me of true selflessness.

Again, humbled.

The rest of the day was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. I tracked all of my friends running the race and got text updates as to their progress and paces. It was really exciting for me to see how well they all did, and I can’t even describe how proud I was of everyone. What was even better was that not once did I feel sorry for myself that I wasn’t there. Sure, I would have loved to run it with them, but my answered prayers made me forget that for the moment and just be happy for them.

While I wasn’t shocked that they all ran such strong races, I was truly inspired. These friends of mine have been great examples of passion and dedication in both running and relationships. Their friendships are genuine and so selfless—I can think of so many times when we’ve been in situations where they put others before themselves, no matter what. One example that comes to mind actually took place when I just came back from my last injury (the fractured pelvis on the left hip). I was running with Shaheen, Jen and Jayna on the Katy trail, and we had the option of running an alternate route rather than just an out-and-back. But, they asked me which would be a better option for me, because staying on the trail would allow us to run on the softer surface, which was better for my hip. I said the trail would be better but started to say that I could do either. But Shaheen cut me off after I mentioned I should likely stay on the trail and said, “Enough said.” And we stayed on the trail, because that’s the kind of friends they are: ones who look after one another.

Hopefully I will get another chance to run the Boston Marathon. But, if I don’t, I’m glad to be part of a running community that represented Dallas so well at the race and that prides itself in bringing out the best in others. Boston this year was about them.

I don’t want my life to be about me, because it’s not. It’s about Him. He’s the one who deserves all of the glory, and I don’t need to feel sorry for myself when times get tough. This injury may not be my heart’s desire, but I can still let Him shine through me during this time. Life isn’t perfect—it is full of setbacks. How we handle those setbacks shapes our characters and reveals who we really are.

I am living for Him, and no fractured hip is going to stop that.