Some unhighlighted things

I honestly don’t know why I even bother owning a planner.

I mean, sure, it’s good for me to keep track of various things I have lined up, but I feel like the things I plan out don’t always happen—just take one look at my last couple of posts, and this truth will become painfully obvious. There are certain events that are so easy for me to highlight off as accomplished, such as “5 a.m. Alter-G,” but there are others that I keep having to scribble out, like “finish paper for film class.” (That one finally got completed, though I originally had it written down weeks ago rather than just the night before it was due.) I don’t really like it when I have to scribble more than I highlight.

I remember when I was a little girl, I planned out a lot of things for far into the future that didn’t happen as I had hoped, either. For starters, I was supposed to be married by 22 and have my first kid by 24. I wanted to be a young, hip mom who had been married for at least two years. Needless to say, I took an alternative path in that regard. It is definitely for the best, though, because no child should have permanently been under my care when I was 24. They shouldn’t even be now.

I can plan our wedding all I want, but it will never be...

As for the getting married at 22, that was definitely wishful thinking. I recall each year in high school telling myself that I would have a boyfriend in the ensuing year. Never happened. Same story in college—each year, it was the following year that would have to be the “Year of Love.” Each year, I was left with the reality that I may never go on a date. After a while, I accepted it and truthfully just stopped hoping for that to happen altogether. In fact, I am perfectly content in knowing that I may be single forever. Sometimes, that’s just how people are supposed to live—just ask Paul (yes, the one in the Bible).

Many times, when we try to plan out things “perfectly” as they should go, it’s so easy to get caught up in our own little fantasy worlds and forget that our plans are actually pretty pathetic when we compare them to what God has in store for us. But, as humans, we don’t really see this (or care to see it) until we look back upon it later. I used to think it was so unfair that the guys I liked never liked me back. Now, I am so thankful they didn’t, because most of them turned out to be people I didn’t want to claim as my boyfriends, anyway.

I also planned to grow up and be famous on the big screens. Ever heard of the Academy Award winning actress Natalie Merrill? Didn’t think so. Again, those plans were thwarted. And, again, I am rather thankful for this. I can’t imagine living a life constantly in the spotlight—it’s really nice to have privacy when I need it.

I don’t know if you noticed this, but I’m also not an anchor for SportsCenter or a sideline reporter for the NFL. Nope, instead I educate the youth of our nation and try to help them become more efficient citizens before they step out into the real world. Yes, I teach high school. To be honest, it was something I always wanted to do, but it wasn’t what I thought I was supposed to do. I was convinced that it was the plan for me to become a sports reporter. I actually got this career off to a kick-start before realizing that it wasn’t where I actually belonged. I absolutely love sports, but the life of a reporter—and having to work insane hours and always being on-call—just isn’t quite the lifestyle for me. Plus, who doesn’t love summers off? :)

One of my coworkers makes fun of me for using a planner—“This is the 21st century,” he reminded me as he pointed to the calendar on his iPhone. I am well aware that my phone has its own digital planner outlined for me. But it’s more fun when I get to use the highlighter. Plus, as a writer, I enjoy writing things down and using something that’s more in book-form, anyway. Planners rock. Well, that kind of defeats the point of some of this blog entry, but I suppose that’s OK. I mean, it’s not how I originally planned it to go, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles today.

By no means am I trying to say that no one should ever make plans and try to follow through with them. There are plenty of people who are actually accurate when they map out their lives, like one of my friends growing up who always said she would be a doctor. Guess what she is now? (Although, I must say that her original practice isn’t consistent with what she thought it would be. She started off wanting to be a pediatrician, then an OB-GYN, but she is now a psychiatrist. Go figure.)

My main point is that we can set up our lives like plastic doll houses all we want, but it is God’s plan that is made of stone and will give you an actual lasting foundation. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” I do believe that verse is pretty self-explanatory.

So, just because I can use my highlighter in my planner doesn’t mean that I will be doing so in all aspects of my life. In fact, it’s often better when I have to do some scribbling out and write in something new elsewhere.

After all, curve balls are sometimes the best ones to hit, anyway.