Nothing compares to you

I have to give major props to Sinéad O'Connor.

Homegirl knew what she was talking about.

Last week, one of my students was looking at a picture of a celebrity online, and she said, "Man, I can never get my hair to look like hers. Why does she have to be so pretty?" The girl next to her replied with, "I know—she's perfect."

And my heart broke.

As a high school teacher, I constantly hear young ladies say bad things about their own appearances and compare themselves to others. Then, when they do think they are looking their bests, they immediately take selfless and post to Instagram and Twitter to get as many "likes" as possible. Now, I'm not shaming the selfie completely, as I've certainly taken them with my friends, but I'm questioning the purpose.

When did it become so standard for people—particularly women—to size themselves up to other women and feel less-than-beautiful when they think they don't measure up to a certain type of appearance? The thing is, we aren't all supposed to look the same. We were each fearfully and wonderfully made (see Psalm 139:14), and it's useless to think we should have to look like other people.

I've mentioned before that I once tried to get rid of my freckles, but it was such a waste of time and energy. Truth be told, rather than focusing so much on trying to change some physical aspect of my body, I really should have been focusing more on my heart. The love that radiates and shines from within a person is much more powerful than anything on the outside.

People should read this

And you shouldn't feel like you have to change the way you look to impress others. They should love you as you are—and someone will truly appreciate those "flaws" you think you have. (Actually, there is Someone who already does.) I know my chest isn't turning heads; my hair gets frizzy and full of static sometimes; I don't have Beyoncé's bootyliciousness; my freckles are still here; my nails are always short and are seemingly incapable of growing longer; my ears are really tiny; I have a chipped tooth from when a volleyball pole fell on my head; I have a scar above my right eye from when I went flying into the corner of a bench—and I'm sure there are many other things about me that could be "fixed."

Because, as it turns out, I don't look like Blake Lively, and Ryan Reynolds is not my main squeeze. (I know—shocking.) You know why I'm not like Blake Lively? Because I'm Natalie. She's supposed to be Blake, and I'm supposed to be Natalie.

You are you for a reason, so be you. Just like Sinéad O'Connor sings, "Nothing compares, nothing compares, nothing compares to youuuuu." (You might have thought I'd never get back to that point, so there you go. You're welcome.) Stop comparing yourself to people you see plastered all over the Internet. Stop comparing your looks to those around you. Instead, compare your heart to what you want it to be. Are you loving enough? Are you living in grace? Are you compassionate to others?

Your sufficiency isn't in how people respond to your body image. There's a difference in being confident in the person you are and in needing others to validate that confidence. Social media can be great for many things, but it can be so detrimental in many other ways. When you look in the mirror, I hope you see beyond just the reflection looking back at you. That person you see is full of so much beauty and so much potential to impact the world in positive ways. And I hope you remember something so important and so true.

Nothing compares to you—and I hope you sing that loudly and proudly as you see that reflection every day.

We're not settlers

There are some things in life for which there are absolutely no substitutes.

(e.g. Wheat Thins.)

I was at the grocery store recently, and a lot of shelves were being restocked at the time. As my luck would have it, of course, this impacted my favorite snack ever invented: Wheat Thins. There weren't any on the shelf, which is quite obviously a dreadful situation in which to find yourself. An employee walking by asked, "Ma'am, is there something I can help you with?" I told him I needed Wheat Thins, and he told me they would be out soon, but if I didn't want to wait then the ones in the blue box were just as good, and he handed me some off-brand box with the words "THIN WHEATS" printed across the front.

Umm, no.

I declined and told him I would wait. You see, with most things I am perfectly fine purchasing the generic brands, but I have two uncompromising exceptions: Wheat Thins and Jif peanut butter. I feel no need to explain this.

If I had purchased those other crackers, I know it would have been a decision I would regret later. I would open the unfamiliar box and taste some bland product that could in no way live up to the perfection that is a Wheat Thin. I'm not sorry about this, but nothing even comes close. I would rather wait on the stock boy taking his time to get to the cracker aisle or drive to a completely different store so that I could have my Wheat Thins. They are worth it.

Plus, I'm not big on settling.

Perfection

I've mentioned before that I've never dated, which a lot of people think is strange seeing as how I'm now 30. (I still feel weird saying that age.) I often have people suggest that I "try the online thing," or every once in a while someone knows the "perfect" match for me, but he's likely only perfect for me because he's single, too. I hear people tell me to date around to have fun and maybe meet a nice guy. But, to me, that's like buying the crackers I didn't want. Sometimes you know that things just aren't right for you, and you don't want to settle. Everyone is different, and we are all going to like different things and take different paths. I'm perfectly fine with waiting for Prince Charming to come along, and I'm perfectly fine if he never comes, and I'm single forever. But I'm not going to go through a bunch of thin wheat boxes trying to find him. I'll wait for the real deal.

I'm not saying I won't give people chances, nor am I suggesting that for others. I'm all about taking risks, but I do believe sometimes you just know—you have this intrinsic feeling—that someone isn't right for you. And you don't necessarily have to go on a date to figure that out. I realize many people don't agree with this, but that's fine. We don't have to agree, because we aren't the same people, and we aren't living the same lives. But, if you know someone is or isn't right for you, then I think you should go with your gut.

If there's something in life that you don't want to compromise on, then don't. When you know something else is worth the wait, then wait. It's worth it—you're worth it. Sometimes it seems like God takes longer than the stock boy, but just practice a little patient endurance.

Because when you get that precious golden box, you'll be glad you didn't settle.

Because love and sports

I love sports, and I love love.

I guess it makes sense, because the two things are wonderfully similar.

You don't have to agree with me, and that's ok, because I will still believe it, anyway. Love and sports are simply very much alike.

The teamwork. Relationships can't be carried by one person. Teams can't be carried by one person. (Make your Michael Jordan arguments all you want, but he needed the other guys in each of his championships. Just ask Steve Kerr.) You have to work together toward a common goal, and it's going to be a really rough journey if you aren't on the same page. One word: chemistry.

The passion. When you are on the field or court, you put your heart into everything you do. There is nothing you're willing to let stop you in your quest for victory. Just look at the faces of Pete Sampras (that's right, I'm going old school) and LeBron James when they're in the heat of the battle. They dare you to mess with them. When you're in love, you put your heart into everything you do. Nothing and no one can stand in your way. You dare anyone to mess with you. Just look at Jack in Titanic. He got them off that boat, and he didn't even let bullies or frozen waters keep Rose from surviving.

That moment of greatness. Every once in a while, someone gets the chance to be a big hero in the sports world. Maybe you get to step up to the plate with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, and you knock it out of the park for the walk-off grand slam. Or maybe you hit the buzzer beater to win by one. Or you throw the hail mary pass that hits your receiver perfectly on the numbers for the touchdown. And the crowd goes wild. Every once in a while, someone gets the chance to do something bold in the name of love. Maybe you get to haul tail through the airport and make a dramatic scene so that your soulmate won't board the plane and be gone from your life forever. Or maybe you declare your love for your Prince Charming in the middle of the street in the pouring down rain while wearing your best dress. Or you give up your entire day to help the man of your dreams who doesn't even realize what you're doing until you boldly tell him it's because you love him (that was a really good episode of Party of Five).

Give me football

The benchwarmers who never give up hope. You're always going to have those people on the team who just won't quit--the ones who show up early to every practice, put in extra hours of practice, never play a single minute of any game, yet still sit on the edges of their seats as if the coaches will surely call on them next. The hope is so pure and so beautiful. You're always going to have those people who can never seem to find love, but they are always hopeful for that fairytale ending to happen one day. They know love exists, and they never stop believing. Some call them hopeless. They won't agree, though. It's pure, and it's beautiful.

The celebration. When you win a championship—or maybe you're a losing team who finally just wins a game—you rejoice. And you do so together. You dog pile in the middle of the court. You tackle the hero at home plate. You trip over your skates as you rush to the chaotic huddle on the ice. You join the fans as they somehow they manage to bring the goal post to the ground. You immediately run to embrace your coach or loved ones when you cross the finish line in first place. You rip of your shirt as all of your teammates storm the field to join you in glory (Brandi Chastain became a legend that day). You celebrate together. The same is true with love. You celebrate together, because, as Jack Johnson says, "It's always better when we're together."

In sports, the main goal is usually to win. But it's also a journey along the way. You grow in the person you are, because sports help individuals develop character and poise. In love, you're trying to win but in a different way. And it's certainly a journey. You grow in the person you are, because love will test your limits, help you develop patience and understanding, and teach you so much about life that you thought you already knew but really had no clue.

You won't always win in sports, but you will learn to appreciate even the losses, for they help you strive toward success. You won't always win in love, but you learn to appreciate the heartaches and pain, for they help you become the person you were meant to be and make you stronger. And there's something about real, genuine love that will always be true. Allow me to quote Jack Johnson one more time: "Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart."

Love always wins.

You can actually learn from books

I think some of the most important things we learn in life are during childhood.

Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

One day last week, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I decided to go to Barnes & Noble. You see, when I was in college, I would often go pick up a book from the children's section whenever I didn't want to think about all of the tests I had or money I owed or whatever else was weighing on my shoulders. I would escape into the stories I heard a hundred times as a kid, because it would also help me escape to a time when I didn't worry about things so much. Life was more carefree.

I think we could actually learn a lot from kids.

Last week when I returned to this tactic, I picked up Green Eggs and Ham, because I remember how my mom used to read it to my sister and me when we were little and how she would always remind me of this story when I didn't want to eat certain foods (I'm kind of a picky eater). After I finished reading—it goes by so much faster when you're not a little kid listening to your mom—I sat there and thought about it for a while. Do I give green eggs and ham a chance?

Now, no, you should not feel like you have to give into the peer pressure of the Sam-I-Am people in your life, but you shouldn't always have the closed-off mindset of the stubborn guy who at first refuses to try the new dish. Every once in a while, it's good to try something new.

Especially when it scares the crap out of you.

As I sat in the bookstore, two moments of my life popped into my head. The first was actually a collection of moments and occurred when I was in college at Texas A&M. For some reason, I refused to say the word "howdy." Ever. If you aren't familiar with the tradition, it's just a thing almost every Aggie says, and I couldn't do it. In fact, I called it the "H-word" and wouldn't even say it when referring to others saying it. People would pass me, say "Howdy" to me, and I would simply reply with "Hi," "Hello," or "How's it going?" Maybe if I had let myself say the word—even just once—I would have felt more immersed in the culture, stayed at that school, and actually enjoyed my college experience. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything. But I will never know, because I didn't try something new. I insisted on being stubborn rather than bold.

Go for it

The second instance happened Saturday when I was reading by my pool. It's technically "fall" (whatever that means), so the pool water temperature is actually really cold right now, but this particular day was warm enough to be poolside with a book. I was brave enough to put my feet in the pool (barely), but that was it. I vowed not to think about doing anything too crazy.

Until I thought about it.

It was getting really hot, and I actually hate sitting outside in the heat by a pool and not being in the water. But I don't get in cold pools. I just don't. I hate the cold—and I mean every letter of the word hate. But I thought back to Green Eggs and Ham, and I suddenly wanted to jump in the pool. So I did. (Well, sort of. I am shallow and didn't want to get my hair wet, so I half-jumped, half-slid in there. Whatever. It counts.) I didn't actually accomplish anything in this feat, except that I did—I did something I've always been afraid to do. And it felt pretty good, minus the numbness running through my body.

There are times when it's fine to have your mind completely made up about something and not budge one bit. But then there are those moments when you have the chance to do something bold—something fearless—and give yourself an opportunity you may have never had if you had held back. Don't let those pass you by. Jump in the cold water while saying, "And I will eat them in the rain!" (Or whatever your version of eating green eggs and ham looks like for you.)

Don't be afraid to take advice from Dr. Seuss—he did pretty well for himself.

When you're singing ABBA songs

I feel like ABBA really gets me.

And it's not just because I'm a dancing queen.

I remember years ago on Mike & Mike in the Morning, Mike Greenberg became obsessed with playing the song, "Take a Chance on Me" leading up to the NFL Draft. (If I recall correctly, he was mainly using it for Matt Leinart.) Thanks to hearing it so frequently during my morning commutes to class, I fell in love with the song. After all, I can totally relate to it.

I'm 30 now, and as I've mentioned before I've never been on a date. (Whatever. It's cool.) I have, however, found myself sitting on the sidelines singing ABBA's lyrics. If for some bizarre reason you are unfamiliar with the song to which I'm referring, allow me to help you out:

"If you change your mind, I'm the first in line

Honey, I'm still free; take a chance on me

If you need me, let me know; gonna be around

If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down

If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown

Honey, I'm still free; take a chance on me

Gonna do my very best, and it ain't no lie

If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me; take a chance on me"

So, basically, the person in the song really wants to be given a chance.

I'm sure we've all felt this way. Maybe you were once the kid sitting on the bench just praying the coach would turn to you and tell you to get in the game. Or perhaps you leaned up against the wall at the school dances just hoping that someone would come take your hand to twirl you around the floor. And your own version of ABBA's song played in your head while you waited for something that never happened.

But all it takes is one.

It's sort of a fitting picture

In the 2000 NFL Draft, a quarterback didn't go in the first round…or the second round…or the third. In fact, he wasn't taken until pick number 199 in the sixth round. Perhaps you've heard of Tom Brady? He's kind of made a name for himself now, but it's because someone finally took a chance on him. And he wasn't even the top quarterback for the Patriots in his first season—he was the fourth string. But he didn't let that stop him from working to ensure that someone would take a chance on him again. I'd say that worked out pretty well for him. (By the way, it took a lot out of me to type all of that. I can't stand the Patriots.)

There are so many examples in life of people who have been persistent in their endeavors so that others will take chances on them. Some are famous actors, musicians, or athletes. But most are everyday people like you and me who have still had big dreams come true, because they waited for their chances.

All it takes is one.

I'm currently trying to get a book published, and I've dealt with some rejection thus far. It can be pretty disheartening when publishers or literary agents won't even bother reading it. But I'm hopeful that someone out there will take a chance on me. Because all it takes is one. And maybe some fella I fancy will actually return my interest, take me on a date, and sparks will fly forever. Because all it takes is one.

Maybe you are waiting for someone to take a chance on you right now, or perhaps you need to take a chance on someone or something. But, even if we don't get some of those chances we hope for in our lives, it's OK. Jesus took a chance on us when He died on the cross, and that's the greatest chance-taking there ever was, anyway. It opened the doors for more opportunity and more love than we will ever know from any other chances any people ever give us.

After all, all it takes is One.

Just gonna shake

I think we all owe a huge "thank you" to Taylor Swift.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, it's a pretty well-known fact that I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan—if you haven't seen my "Love Story" performance, I'm really sorry. One reason I love her music so much is because the lyrics are so real, and I feel like many of us can relate to them at some point or another. And when "Shake It Off" came out, she didn't disappoint.

Over the weekend, I was in a wedding, and I did something I do at most events that have music: I made friends with the DJ. I always do this to ensure at least one T Swizzle song gets played, and I am not going to start making exceptions now. He asked me if "Shake It Off" would be alright, and I told him it would be perfect.

But I didn't realize how perfect it actually was.

When the song came on, the dance floor goers (especially the girls, obviously) became pretty enthusiastic and belted the lyrics while we all did our own versions of shaking. As I was apparently living in my own personal music video, I started thinking about some of the lyrics more, and I felt like I was letting go of so many stresses and worries that had been bogging me down. I just shook them all off.

We're about to shake

One of my favorite parts of the song is when it says, "I'm dancing on my own (dancing on my own); I make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go), and that's what they don't know; that's what they don't know." You see, I dance on my own the majority of the time, and I never know what move to expect next. I just kind of go with it, and I think it's a good way to approach life in some ways. You might be dancing on your own, but it can be a beautiful dance—even if those around you don't think the moves are so lovely. It's your dance, not theirs.

The entire song is such a great reminder of why we shouldn't be so focused on how other people perceive us. Even when it comes to relationships. Excuse my middle-school-sounding wording, but if a guy doesn't like me back, I'm just going to shake it off. I was thinking about this as I was likely looking like a flailing bird when my friends Maddie and Whitney finally joined me on the dance floor (I had told them to be there for this song). We all just kept jamming out to the song, and I felt so much better at the end of it. I felt free.

Then I thought of "Shake It Off" during a worship song at church Sunday. (Yes, you read that correctly, too.)

We were singing "In Christ Alone," and these lyrics stood out to me more than they usually do: "No power of hell, no scheme of man, could ever pluck me from His hand; 'til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand." It reminded me of the chorus of Taylor Swift's song, when she sings about how players are gonna play, haters are gonna hate, heartbreakers are gonna break, and fakers are gonna fake. And that's when you just shake it off. Just like in the worship song: people and things are going to try to lead you away from the Lord, but you just have to shake all of those things off and keep your feet firmly planted on His solid ground.

You're going to face difficult things in life, whether it's people or situations, but that doesn't mean you have to be defeated by them. People aren't always going to be nice—shake it off, and give them grace; your heart might get broken—shake it off, and look forward to new beginnings; people may lie or deceive you in various ways—shake it off, and put your trust in what is genuine; life is going to throw you curves—shake it off, and keep swinging for the fences.

And you might find that other's will want to join you in dancing to "this.sick.beat."

So long, 20s

When you're a little kid, there are some things that seem so far away that you will never have to worry about them.

You know, like turning 30.

When I was a teenager and heard the age 30, I always thought, "Wow, that's old." Now, as I find myself days away from turning this daunting age, it still sounds old to me, but it also really doesn't. I know many people in their 30s (and older), and I never think as any of them as old. In fact, they all seem pretty young to me—30 really just sounds old when I think of me being that age. It's just weird.

My life at this age is not exactly like I thought it would be when I had that teenager mindset—and that's probably a good thing. I'm not going to lie: it's going to be a big adjustment entering this new decade. I mean, even just answering the question of how old I am is going to be strange, because I'm used to starting off with 20, and now I will have to lead with a 30. I'm not quite sure I'm comfortable with that.

My 20s were an interesting 10 years for me—definitely a lot of transitioning involved. It's also a great period to learn a lot about yourself, as well many life lessons that are highly valuable and that you perhaps weren't yet ready to learn as a teenager. (But that's also because you already know everything there is to know when you're a teen.) Here are some things my 20s taught me:

1. Styrofoam is not microwavable. Sure, some of you probably learned this many moons ago, but it took living on my own and a microwave mess of oatmeal for me to discover that you should not heat items in this material. It doesn't end well for anyone or anything involved.

2. True friends stay. The friendships you had growing up won't necessarily last a lifetime like you thought they would. But there are certain people in your life who will always be there for you. Even if distance separates you, or you don't always get to spend as much time with them as you would prefer, the bonds of those friendships are too strong for anything to break them. When it feels like the rest of the world has turned its back on you, these people never will.

Truth

3. Work should not consume your life. Sure, we all have to work to make that moolah, but I found that it's rather unhealthy when what you do for work becomes your entire life and starts to trump the more important things, like family and friends.

4. People lie. Not everything people say to you will be true. You might be fed some pie-crust promises, and you might fall for them more easily than you would like to admit. But you have to learn to give untruthful people grace and move on, because there are others out there who will offer you truth and trust.

5. Forgive. Speaking of grace, it's kind of an important thing in life. It's silly and unhealthy to hold grudges and hatred in your heart. We all make mistakes, and we've all been forgiven by the One who perfectly modeled what it truly means to be graceful. So forgive people—you may not think they deserve forgiveness, but you don't, either, and have been given it.

6. You make time for the things you want to make time for in life. Life is busy, as we all know, and it often seems difficult to balance all of the chaos surrounding us. But, if there is something or someone you really want to make time for in your life, you will find a way. The things that matter—and the people who matter most to you—are worth it.

7. Dance. Always. Whenever you get the chance to dance, don't let the opportunity pass you by. Who cares what you look like? Just dance. There's something so wonderful about just being you and dancing without caring what people think of you. And if you feel the need to belt the lyrics to whatever song is playing while you're dancing, go for it. It's wonderful to someone's ears.

8. Be you, because you are wonderful. I always tell my students that I hope they know three things when they leave my classroom: You are valued. You are loved. You matter. The same is true for you, and so you shouldn't try to be anyone else but the you you were created to be.

9. Love always wins. Love is the most powerful thing in life, and it is stronger than anything we face—any struggles, any hatred, any distractions, anything. So embrace it. Give it away. Live by it. Because it always wins.

There are many more things about this special decade that could actually fill up an entire book, but these are some of the more significant things I feel are essential to note. I'm sure the next 10 years will hold even more truths I have yet to discover, and I look forward to whatever this new era holds. But, honestly, it doesn't really matter what age describes a person's time here on earth.

It's the person within who truly matters most, and that's a much more defining characteristic than any number.