But it's quite often those very things that help make us the people we are.
Every year around this time, people start reflecting more on the blessings they've been given during the past year, as well as the things they wish they could change. They might resolve to go about the next 365 days differently than they ever have, whether that means being more diligent in certain areas of their lives or forming habits that make them better overall people. Whatever it may be, there's a general acknowledgement that the new year provides a "fresh start" that is sure to bring new opportunities and better results.
But there are certain things in life we really cannot control.
This year I am thankful for the things I never wanted—even if it is taking me longer actually to find that thankfulness.
When I was a little girl, I hated the fact that I was covered in freckles. I went to some extremes—even after reading the brilliance of Judy Blume's Freckle Juice—and rubbed a lemon all over my face in hopes of removing all of those silly dots. Needless to say, that method failed. My freckles were still there when I looked in the mirror a few minutes later. So much for instant gratification, lemon.
Now, however, I'm thankful for my freckles, because I know they help make up who I am. I even appreciate the fact that I have random freckles that seem out-of-place, such as the one on the side of my left foot.
But there are also some more serious things that don't bring joy at the time but are actually blessings.
Like broken hearts.
Even though I've never been in a relationship, I still know what it feels like to be hurt by someone. And now I know what it feels like to have a broken heart. While it's certainly not something I've embraced by any means, I know it's something that had to happen as part of my journey. I'm still learning how to deal with it (with the help of many Taylor Swift songs, of course), and it's teaching me a deeper level of trust and faith. It's not something I had anticipated to happen in 2013, and it's definitely not something I'm wishing upon shooting stars for this year. It was just one of those things that ruins the plans you were never supposed to be making, anyway.
I'm not going to look back over the past year and be upset or spiteful, and I am not going to tell myself that I will never be hurt again, because it could happen. And that's not something I want to be afraid of—I'd rather just be bold and trust that I can handle whatever comes my way. I have no clue why things over the last year happened the way they did. It was all part of God's plan that I will never pretend to understand. Really the only thing to do is throw your cares into the wind and trust that whatever He has in store for you is better than anything you could conjure up in your wildest dreams.
Even when it hurts.
I know I'm supposed to be thankful in all situations, and I am trying to learn to be thankful for heartache. Obviously that's not the easiest thing to do, and I certainly don't claim to be at the point yet where I can say I've expressed genuine gratefulness for this, but I'm aiming to get there. Truthfully, a broken heart really sucks, and it doesn't make a person want to go around with a joyful Pollyanna attitude at even given moment. But, for some reason, God doesn't follow our play books and often teaches us to have patient endurance and simply give thanks even for the things that we don't necessarily want or understand.
Because real trust is faithful even when it's most difficult.
Perhaps learning to be thankful for the hard times is really just being thankful for a God who carries us through them and never breaks His promises.
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