Catch the right fever

It's really challenging to be thankful when you're suffering.

Especially when that suffering comes in the form of three dreaded letters: f-l-u.

I had to miss work Friday, because I wasn't feeling well at all. I was a little worried, because my sister and I were supposed to leave Saturday morning and drive down to Houston so I could run in the half marathon there on Sunday. I spent most of Friday trying to sleep off whatever it was that had me feeling so crummy.

It didn't work.

I woke up Saturday and went on my shakeout run. That was a horrible idea. Every step felt like an enormous amount of effort—like I weighed a million pounds—and I wanted to die. That might sound dramatic, but those were the thoughts going through my head: weighing a million pounds and death.

My parents and sister had advised me late on Friday that I shouldn't make the trip to Houston, and it wasn't until after my run on Saturday that I had to concede. If I was planning my funeral on a four-miler, how the heck was I supposed to survive 13.1 at race pace? Not gonna happen. Plus, that would be a miserable car ride for both my sister and me.

So I went to the doctor, instead. Diagnosis? The flu.

I don't believe I've ever had the flu, and quite honestly I hate it. Seriously, the flu can die. I will not be sad. However, I have learned some things with this heinous illness.

Lesson 1: Our plans don't always happen

Duh. I already knew this one but was reminded even more so. I was really hoping for a fast race in Houston, but I currently can't even think about running one mile fast. I'm really not sure why this happened, and I'm not even going to pretend to understand. But it happened, it's reality, and I have to accept it and move on.

Lesson 2: What works for others isn't necessarily right for you

People rave about the wonders of Tamiflu, and so I was super pumped when the doctor prescribed it, thinking it would be a faster cure for my misery. Well, it turns out I'm allergic to the magic medicine, and instead of feeling better more quickly I developed a rash all over my stomach, which then spread to my hands and feet. I've never been much of a crowd follower, anyway.

Lesson 3: We often forget logic

Sometimes we become so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we don't always think clearly about anything other than ourselves. I was on the phone with my mom on Saturday night, and she was asking me if my 101-degree fever had gone down and was then advising me that I needed to drink ginger ale. I told her I didn't have any, and she sweetly offered to bring me some—mind you, it was almost 9 p.m., and she lives about 30 minutes away. Rather than be thankful she offered and express a grateful reply, I recall saying, "No, mom, I don't want ginger ale. I'm about to brush my teeth, and then it will taste bad!" I was so absorbed in my own pain that I couldn't even appreciate the loving gesture someone was trying to make for me. I think this is more common that it should be in our world.

Lesson 4: Candy is good

I realize too much candy is bad for your teeth, but there are moments in life when you just don't care about that. The past few days, I have found it quite difficult to hold much down. However, I've been able to eat Jolly Ranchers like a pro, so those have been a strong staple of my flu diet. Yes, I know I need more, and I'm certainly trying, but my stomach has been very weak during this mess. (I miss real food.)

Lesson 5: It's the little things

As I mentioned, it's really difficult to find the joy amidst the misery. So, what I've been trying to do during this time is find little things that are actually good. For instance, I've caught up on so much missed sleep, which I think I really needed to do. Also, I've lived in sweats the past few days, and my amount of laundry has decreased. I think I also told my friend Laz that everything hurts except for my teeth, so I am thankful that I do not have any pain in my teeth. It's important to smile, especially in times of struggle, so I think it's necessary to try to find the little things that are positives when you really just want to be negative. Negativity is just not pretty.

Lesson 6: People care

I honestly can't express how thankful I am for the people in my life. I've had a few people text and call me every single day—and sometimes multiple times throughout the day—asking me how I'm feeling, and I am not the slightest bit annoyed by it. They also offer to bring me whatever I need, which warms my heart to think people are so caring. Honestly, unless they have magical healing powers, there's really nothing I need, but it's the thought that is so sweet. (Plus, they'd probably need to wear face masks and decontaminate all of their clothes once they left.) But people are the silver lining: being sick is not enjoyable by any means, but realizing that you have people in your life who care enough to reach out to you is a sure reason to find joy and give thanks.

And it certainly warms the heart enough to combat any chills the stupid flu can bring.