Thursday, July 10, 2008

Welcome to the Whirlwind

Sometimes I feel like my life is a non-stop rollercoaster ride. I love the thrill, but I often get tired of the whiplash.

I definitely like to stay busy, but sometimes I get so busy that I get restless. It doesn't seem like it makes much sense, but it does. Trust me. Everything just starts spinning out of control, and I get so wrapped up in all the madness that I get bored with it. And I crave the mundane, though usually just briefly.

Sometimes I would prefer to do nothing but do nothing. Yes, for a few fleeting moments I would like to sit down and not have some task looming over my head. Those are the times when I just want to throw my planner out the window and not know what is on the agenda. Those are the times when I remember what it was like not to need a planner.

I am a huge fan of spontaneity, so I still see my fair share of things that were not planned. However, somewhere along the way, I had to purchase a planner to make sure I got everything accomplished. I think it started at some point in college when I was taking 18 hours and working more than one job.

Sure, I do occasionally have those lulls where I seem to be twiddling my thumbs all day, but those are rather rare nowadays. I don't even know when the exact transition happened from kid to grown-up, but I feel like it occurred way too quickly. Can't we go back to playing pick-up football in the street until it gets dark and Dad makes us come inside the house?

I guess not. After all, my older brother won't do anything that wasn't on his agenda. It's all about work and success for him. He still plays, but it's not the same. Now playing involves spending a lot of money at posh places and indulging in a bit too much luxury, if you ask me.

And my little sister is still trying to get through college and decide what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Plus, she was never a real big football fan, anyway.

It's possible that I am just tired of waking up at 3 or 4 something in the morning so I can be to work on time. At least I will be leaving at the end of the month and will start teaching in the upcoming one. I know it will be a task in itself, but it is definitely something to which I am looking forward.

I guess becoming so busy is just a part of life. But I still think it's really important to close the datebook every once in a while to do something you had never really intended. Or perhaps you did, even if subconsciously. But I doubt you wrote it in your planner. If so, it might read: Do nothing, and relax. It's time to make sure that one gets crossed off the list.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I totally understand!

When did an impromptu trip camping become an event that had to be planned 3 months out?! And I am praying about developing a theatre program for homeschoolers through our local rec center, which means teaching 3-5 classes a week, one of which would be a production of some kind. AND, I am pondering an active group for our boy that would include running (I need you! I couldn't run when I was 17 and skinny.), bicycling, and possibly hiking. Something for boys to go full-bore.

And then there is writing, homeschool, and teaching a class on teaching visual and kinetic learners.

On one hand, I love the activity, and I get bored without it. On the other, I just want a week where I don't HAVE to be somewhere. You know?