Pancrea...what?

So, it turns out that my pancreas is a complete failure.

I found out that I have chronic pancreatitis. What's this mean? Basically, my pancreas is dysfunctional, and enzymes break things down in my pancreas before they are released, causing nutrients to be lost completely. Normally this is caused by excessive alcohol intake, but I have never touched the stuff, so that's not it. It's also caused by a diet high in fat, but that's not really the problem with me, either. I am pretty much just one of those rare cases that the doctors can't really explain.

Awesome.

I usually stay away from doctors, but the relentless pain that kept occurring finally drove me to an office one day after work. It had just become too much, and I didn't want to end up in the hospital again and have an experience similar to those five miserable days my sophomore year of college (another story for another day, I suppose). So, I caved.

The diagnosis: chronic pancreatitis (a.k.a. a lifetime of pain and pills). This is not only an issue because it sucks to have a condition like this for the rest of your life, but I have trouble swallowing pills. And I don't just mean trouble in the minor sense; this is a HUGE deal.

I can't swallow pills with water or milk. I need juice or Gatorade of some kind, and it normally takes me more than one try. Sudafed (one of the smallest pills known to man) even has trouble making it past the middle of my tongue, so the fact that my pancreatin pills are the size of a golf tee on steroids (could be a slight exaggeration, though I highly doubt it) really doesn't make matters much better.

And the worst part: the pills have to be taken every single time food goes into my mouth. I'm not just talking meals—snacks, too.

I suppose things could be worse. After all, it is TAKS week.

At least the Mavs beat the hated Spurs last night, and we are on to the second round of the playoffs!