My STATE of AfFAIRs

I have lived in Texas almost 26 years and have never been to the State Fair.

It's true—I am a native who has never experienced the disgustingness of all of the fried experimentations, waving to Big Tex, walking around in the danger zone that is Fair Park, seeing people with non-human characteristics and whatever other oddities the fair holds. I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything, though.

I've been to a few carnivals in my life, and I have to say that I wasn't a big fan. They always made me feel so icky. Sure, some of the rides were fun, but there was just something about the entire atmosphere that made me want to rush home and take a shower—and it takes a lot to do that!

I remember when I was a little girl, there was a carnival at Andy Brown Park in the AWESOME city of Coppell that was fittingly called PigFest. It had rained recently, so the ground was pretty muddy, and there was a nasty humidity in the air. I rode that spaceship-looking ride that sucks you against the wall and spins super fast, and you can't really move without being slammed back against the wall mat. It's ridiculous and, of course, made me feel sick to my stomach. The entire day from that point was just pure grossness—nausea and muggy air (and you definitely can't imagine what the humidity does to my hair!). Ugh.

Then there was the time that I went with a friend to an annual carnival at a church in Coppell. We were in fifth grade, and she was meeting her boyfriend there (who the heck dates someone in elementary school??!). So, naturally, she ditched me as soon as he got there, and I was forced to ride all the rides alone until that one fella with two missing front teeth offered to keep me company on the Spinning Octopus. Lucky me.

I'm just really thankful that I have the Rangers (playoffs like woah!!!!) and Cowboys to keep me company during these State Fair days. Otherwise, I might be reunited with my Spinning Octopus comrade.

Give Big Tex a high five for me.